Three years

Hello everyone
I havnt been on the forum for a while,just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat it was three years on the 27th of feb since I lost my wife of 30years to cancer ,I thought I was coping but the last six months have been hell with anxiety and panic attacks I have all ways suffered with depression since my early teens with the loss of my dad when I was 14 I am on my usual meds for depression ,I have a grown up son and daughter and three beautiful granddaughters which I love to bits but still feel empty sorry if this comes over as selfish but it’s just the way I feel was just wondering if anyone can relate to this thanks for taking time to read this
Take care jon

Hi Jon,
I dont think you are selfish at all .
You and your wife had 30 years together, and you must still miss her so much.
Do you think that the whole lockdown situation has made things worse for you?
Have you had any help from your GP , maybe to review your medication ? Have you received or considered bereavement counseling?
Its good that you have come to this site again. I hope you will get replies from people who are in a similar situation. I can only speak from my experience of losing my parents, and witnessing how my mum struggled with her mental health when she lost my dad.

Hi Jon

You are not selfish at all. It’s good to reach out to others and I have found when I couldn’t talk to anyone else that this forum has given me great comfort that I’m not weird for having very difficult and strong feelings.

I’m glad your GP is helping you. It must have been so hard losing your dad so young and more recently your wife.

I wonder if you have had much counselling for bereavement. I lost my mum in a way when she was first diagnosed with early dementia when I was about 25 and she died 13 years later. I think I struggled over those years to really process what had happened because she was still alive, but her personality wasn’t there any more. My dad passed almost 2 years ago and that really stirred up everything for me. I have recently had some counselling and it has really helped, although i haven’t been able to do it much in lockdown because I haven’t had as much privacy or alone time. I think lockdown has also stirred up feelings of bereavement and emptiness for so many. We all need those social interactions we used to take for granted, which maintained our status quo.

I hope you can find some moments to be kind to yourself and accept what you are going through is temporary and will pass, and perhaps get some more support from friends and family, or try to find some local bereavement support through your GP or council.

Thank you for your reply’s
It means a lot

We all need reassurance and support and it’s ok to feel down. Take care.