I mentioned in a previous post about how I lost my Grandad, who was more like a Dad to me, 8 weeks ago. I can do things like work, go to art class, but I am still overwhelmed by feelings of loneliness and missing him.
Earlier today my partner & I went out to run errands and endes up getting lunch & coffee. I shared with him how I was dreading Xmas, how I was scared about needing to be strong for Nana, etc etc. He turns his phone around mid-talk to show me a picture of a lizard. I love my partner dearly & we both adore animals, & maybe he was showing me to cheer me up, but it was really irritating for him to do that in that moment. It made me feel as if I wasn’t being listened to.
Then when I finished he just asked if I was ready to go home because he had things to do. It just made me feel like I wasn’t being listened to and small & unimportant.
I get that he has things to do. But if I had asked him to phrase things more nicely he would’ve said he can’t win & shouldn’t have to say things the way I’d like for me to consider his feelings in the matter. Just. URGH.