Time becomes unrecognisable after losing someone you never imagined living without. It bends and stretches, collapsing in on itself in ways that don’t make sense.
Some days it feels like an eternity since they were here. Other days the loss is so fresh that you swear you can still hear their voice in the next room as if they just stepped out for a moment.
The world keeps moving at its usual pace but your own sense of time is shattered. Minutes can feel like hours and months can slip by unnoticed. Grief creates its own clock one that doesn’t follow the rules of morning and night.
Some wounds feel decades old while others feel as raw as the day they were made.
There are brief moments of almost forgetting when life demands your attention and the weight lifts just enough for you to breath but then without warning grief crashes back in. An anniversary, a scent, a familiar song and suddenly you’re right back in that moment of loss as if no time has passed at all.
Living without them is a contradiction of waiting and reliving, of aching for more time while also feeling like you’re stuck in the past. And yet through it all time does move even when you don’t feel ready to move with it. Grief is complicated.
I know exactly what you mean, The one I do most is dose off in my chair as I wake up I go to say something to Elizabeth but her chair is empty, The grief feeling in my chest is back. But the sun is shining time to go for a walk.
Such a good description. So up and down and sometimes the feeling of drowning in your sadness it’s really quite unbearable
What profound words that echo exactly how my life is evolving at the moment.
Sending love xx
I very often rush into the house to tell Mark some interesting news, and it happens with our children too, then boom! It hits like a brick when we realise he is not here xx
Grief is complicated, yes. And, it’s not linear. Seems like a little progress, then back, then forward, then back. And, grief has its own agenda. You can’t control it, only hope things will improve and try to do things that you hope help.