Time heals but the void exists

Almost 20 months have passed by since my wife left for her heavenly abode, cancer snatching her life at the age of 53. We happily enjoyed our 29 years of loving each other (27 years of marriage included) and had a beautiful kid who is soon going to be 20. Its amazing how time heals us if you are able to keep yourself busy with the good things and morally-acceptable activities in life. I remember how in the first 6-8 months I used to cry more than 10 times a day and used to go to bed crying every night. Now, those sudden tears have stopped, the extreme sadness that used to engulf me for an hour or so is gone. Doesn’t mean I have stopped missing her or forgotten her. But as they say, you grow strong and time teaches you to take on responsibilities in your life and wake up to a beautiful day everyday. Sometimes you live for yourself, and sometimes for your kids and for something good that you always wanted to do for the society but couldn’t do all these years.

Its true that I would never find love again but I have few close male and female friends with whom I talk and catch-up. Relatives and family are okay. But with friends you can express more without being corrected or judged.

So, for all those out there; I have no suggestions or advice of how to move ahead in life. Just remember, don’t hurry up in the ending the grieving process or don’t just stop crying because someone thinks you are weak or you have to man-up. Take your own time in healing and healing slowly. I think the topic of death should be discussed in families when we are growing up, so that we can accept it easily when the time comes to lose someone whom we love deeply.

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Thank you, your words give me hope. It’s been three months of sadness for me, as you say, crying a lot, going to bed and feeling suffocated by grief every night, it’s very hard at the moment.
But you show that there can still be a future for us, but a different one to what we had planned, it will take time, I know that, to love someone so deeply is a blessing, but tragic when you are left without them, and the healing will be slow.
Such a lovely kind post xx

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Wonderful post @CheerMeUp. You’ve described almost perfectly how I feel about my recovery. That’s extra encouragement for you @Flints. My wife died 3 years ago next week, and I felt just like you do now. So be confident your life WILL rebuild itself. Good luck.

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Thank you, it doesn’t feel that way now, I find it hard to see a future, but you have given me a glimmer of hope xx

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You’ll do it in your own way, and in your own time. Bit by bit, that glimmer gets brighter. Be strong and be patient…

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Nice words .beautiful written.

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@CheerMeUp
Thank you so much for your post. You have given good advice and show how we can and will get through the heartbreak n sadness in time.
Mine is very raw after just five weeks but I sincerely hope I will come to live with my loss n know he’s there all the time…
We are creatures that are meant to love and be loved and with that comes grief and upset but we’d all do it again with our partners given the chance…

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So sorry for your loss xxx

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Thank you for your post of encouragement. It’s much appreciated.

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