Time is not a great healer

I lost my son in May to SUDEP. He was only 28.
I was not there when he passed and I feel that if I was there, I could have started his heart gain, and he would still be here.
I feel completely broken and the feelings are as strong as they were in May. I have panic attacks, Im exhausted and I cant see how this will ever change.
Im trying to get on, im back to work, I have to other children and I try for them. I feel each day is a struggle and all i do is try to get through another day without him

Hello Hedwig,

I am so very sorry to hear that you lost your son in May to SUDEP. I cannot begin to imagine what you’re going through at the moment, but there are others here that have experienced something similar and will understand.

I noticed in another thread that you mentioned speaking to other families who lost someone to SUDEP. I came across SUDEP Action recently so thought I’d share the link to their support services here: https://sudep.org/someone-has-died

Take care and let me know if there’s anything I can do to support you.

Eleanor

Hello Hedwig. I’m really sorry to hear about your son and I know exactly what you’re feeling. My son died in July aged 27 and like you I struggle through each day. I miss him and can’t comprehend not seeing him again. The pain is awful. I think your right that we are broken. My heart broke when he died and now I have to learn to get through life broken. Its like living with an illness. Keep posting on here as there are so many lovely people all who understand. Take care x

Hi Orchard, So sorry to hear about your loss too. I cant comprehend not seeing my Scott either, it just does not seem real. The pain tears me apart. I agree with you about living with an illness - I have not thought of it like that, but its exactly right.
Lots of love to you xxxxxxxxxx

Thank you for that, I have emailed with some questions

There can not be any greater pain than that of losing a child. I hear what you are saying and feel the same way. It is hard to comprehend how we are meant to keep going, but keep going is our only choice even though some days it seems impossible. I lost my son just over a month ago and I feel as though my future has been wiped out and just the thought of not seeing his beautiful face, laughing at his silly jokes and just being in his presence is too much to bear. He was such a lovely kind funny boy and he was my boy. I really can’t believe he has gone. I have a daughter who turned 19 the day after he died. So we have to keep going one day at a time. This isn’t right is it? Sending love to all as this is truly heartbreaking for all of us. X

You express everything I feel Lauley. I feel my future was taken as well as my son’s. And yet I have my daughter and she deserves a future and a life with me in it. And that’s what we live with from here on. We want to be able to be with both our children but we can’t. And the pain is awful, every hour of every day. But we have to keep going. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s very early days for you and the pain with be very raw for you. Sending you a hug from a mum who understands x

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