It’s 10 months tomorrow without him, and as time goes on I feel like I can’t breathe. Thanksgiving past and it felt weird and uncomfortable. Can only imagine how Christmas will feel like. And closer and closer to his one year being gone. It sucks, but there is nothing I can do besides do everything in my power to be strong enough to get by today and the next. I can only think about the future as much I don’t want to, the void in my heart will never be filled with anything, I don’t want it to. So many memories have been replaying in my head and i can only hope that they will continue to do so.
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Maria, I am just more than 2 months in after losing my lifelong partner, I feel every word you’ve said. He was my one and only soulmate, We can swear with the greatest confidence that we will never forget our loved ones and always feel their love, however, it’s the moving forward part that’s the hardest.
Time never really heals, but as it passes I think people who grieve do learn to walk around the void just to lead a somewhat more normal life.
My thoughts are with you xxx
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Hi Maria, I guess you’re in the US? It is so much harder to cope with the death of a partner when the whole world seems to be partying. My husband also died this year. The joy of Christmas taunts us. I know the feeling of time surging on remorselessly. I want time to stop, to go backwards even. I have had one session of counselling, which helped enormously.
In first weeks after Jim’s death, I wanted to die too. I felt suicidal at times, but I could never kill myself because I have 3 dogs who love me and who in the months since Jim died have comforted me so much.
Two thoughts comfort me. The first is that Jim will always been with me in the spiritual sense. At times, I can feel him by my side. The other is simply the cliche that he would not want me to feel as bad as I do, he would want me to go on living, to somehow find a muted kind of pleasure in life.
He taught me what love was - we taught each other.
I can only say that I feel for you and I hope it helps you to reach out to this cyber world of people who are experiencing the same feelings as you are.
Hugs, Christie xxx
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Hi I lost my husband last year after 44 year together and I miss my Mike.
It is hard ah! Time doesnt heal but we learn to carry on. I have no family but luckily I have friends.
What with this virus as well not being able to see friends it has been hard. All I am grateful for is that Mike wasnt here to have to go through this terrible time. Christmas is a hard time when you have lost your love one. We useto love Christmas together. I have put up decorations bought all my presents for friends but its not the same. We must be brave and hope that things will get better. Take good care stay safe. Keep using this web site as it really does help It helped me especially in the early days of losing Mike. Lots of love to you Suex
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Hello Friends, Thought i’d add my two cents worth (for whatever worth it may be). My wife died in November 2019 (2 days before our Thanks giving holiday). I miss her so much! After a year, I have made up my mind that she is not coming back to me (which is obvious), however , That doesn’t mean I have forgotten her at all. I still think about her and wish she was still here. I have had about 5 dreams about her - almost like she may be aware that I miss her. I manage to keep my life the same as when she was still here — I have learned to do many new things for myself as I know she was a “spinning top” as she would often say to me. She kept everything as up to date as she was when we were still married. She was not hesitant to do what needed to be done - I have learned that from her and I do try to do the same. This doesn’t mean I have found a way to forget her but mostly I felt we had the same mindset when were together. I cannot explain this whole life experience as the so called wise people state - all I know is that I miss her and try to carry on, (thought I have had setbacks). Thanks Christie for the reminder - I never forgot it till you mentioned it.
Herb (aka greencat)