Hi All,
I haven’t been on here for a while as I’ve managed to go back to work after losing my mum so I’ve been very busy with that.
I’m glad to be back at work, when I’m there I pretend that mum is still at home and I’ll get to see her and tell her about my day but it’s coming home and sitting alone that I’m really struggling with. Everyone keeps telling me how brave I’m being but they have no idea that I break down as soon as I enter my home.
Every second of every day that comes and goes is making me feel even worse than I did when I first lost my mum, we have only ever been apart for a week maximum so to be apart for this long and realistically, forever is incomprehensible to me.
I feel so lonely but not in the sense that I need to speak to a friend or another family member but in the sense that I just want my mum.
It has been 10 weeks now since that terrible day that I lost her and I know that life won’t be the same again. I can’t believe that I’m in a position that it’s just my brother and I who are left and are adult orphans, I never thought it would ever happen like this. All of the plans that me and my mum and my day made have all disappeared and that is really what is breaking my heart.
Everything is left exactly how it was on the day that mum was taken into hospital and I can’t bring myself to move anything as it becomes too real. Can anyone else relate?
I hope you’re all doing as well as you can be? Shell xx
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Hi @Shell9 I’m so sorry you have lost your mum - she sounds like she was a really great mum to have.
I can relate to what you are feeling - slightly different as I have lost my husband- but it is so hard and so painful and life unfortunately will be different going forward.
I found it got harder at around 3 months as the shock and numbness wore off, so don’t worry about it being unusual - we all grieve differently and there is no right or wrong way.
Reach out to friends and you brother for support and keep posting on here - there’s lots of support and people to listen and offer some kindness.
Look after yourself too - sending a big hug xx
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I know where your coming from I lost my mam nearly 5 weeks ago and at work it’s like I put a front on I think of her o go and have a minute in the toilet then soon as I get in the car it just gets to much taking each day as it comes is best for me take care
I understand what you mean…I used to talk to my Dad for a couple of hours each day and talking to other people is lovely but not the same. Because no one can replicate the conversations “we” had. I talk to him in my head all the time. Sometimes I speak out loud to him and bizarrely I can find this more comforting. Perhaps this might bring you some comfort too?
Hi yes its Sunday and I do all the Sunday things strim washing cleaning and it could all be as it was so the next thing to do is call mum (I live 120 miles away from her) .
There can be no more call as she passed three months ago .
Ten weeks is not long you are doing well going back to work full time , it sounds like you were very close, she will always be with you, like I said early days be kind to yourself .