Had some time offline to try and find myself again.
But i just havent. Ive been trying to move on from my partner try talking to new people but everything always ends up back to him and how i still feel about him.
I just feel like not one person is ever going to be able to live up to how i feel about him. I just dont know how to move on or do things differently nearly 3 years later. Maybe im trying to hard i honestly just do not know.
Sorry about the rant i just feel sometimes this is the way to get my feelings out and get advice from someone feeling the same way as i do 
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Have you had grief counselling? It might benefit you to understand the relationship u had with your partner ? And therefore understand why its so hard for you. It helped me understand it xx
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Sorry for your loss, itās heartbreaking loosing your soul mate 
If you feel ready to open your heart to a new love, good for you. The heart is big and can hold lots of love for different people, no one will live up to your soul mate but you can still love your partner who passed and also love a new partner. Although itāll be a different kind of love but it can be just as fulfilling. As hard as it may be you should try not to compare (that sounds ridiculous, I know!)
Iāve heard that your soul mate watches over you and can send new love into your life. Even if you fall in love again, when you pass over you go to be with your true soul mate.
Sending love and hugs 
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Oh i didnt realise that is what she meant ? I agree we can meet someone again but i guess its just finding that person isnāt it ? Im thinking of trying a widows website tbh ā¦ bit scary but maybe worth a try ? Xx
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As we all no life is short and love is precious go for it if you feel ready, what have you got to lose? I certainly donāt want to be alone forever. I loved sharing my life with my Andrew. I have lots of love to give. It doesnāt mean I loved him any less if I do meet someone else (definitely no were near ready yet). If I could bring him back I would (like off practical magic with Sandra bullock 
) but thatās out of the question.
Donāt be scared, be brave and strong!
Xx
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Thanks you @Katyh thats what my mum said. Go for it lol ā¦ but i gotta sort out a picture first and my next door bliming neighbour was gonna take one and she let me down ! Fuming actually. I could take a selfie but wont be as good will it !! Xx
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Listen to your mum 
Google how to take a good selfie Iām sure with practice youāll get a good one and it will be just as good if not better than a neighbour taking it, what a miserable sod! If you angle the camera slightly higher than your face, itāll hide any double chins haha!
Good luck 
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Yeh im fuming with her ! How selfish !! God you find out who your friends are dont you !! Tempted to send her a message and say im rather disappointed in you ā¦ oh yeh good one to hold it bit higher to hide double chin lol. Thanks ā¦ gonna Private message u if thatās ok xx
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Go for it Deb. What have you got to lose? Loneliness thats what! I met Alan online and my photos were awful so donāt worry about that. And wait till you see some of the shockers that middle aged men think will attract a partner! Iām not so sure about sites just for widows though, why rule out the divorcees haha. I have met someone recently. Very very early days but itās just lovely to have nice messages and somebody tell you youāre gorgeous and take you out. Nobody will ever replace Alan but itās about me now. I hope that doesnāt sound arrogant. Good luck hun! x
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No that doesnt sound arrogant i understand what you mean. I just thought a widows site be gentler and they would understand more ā¦ thanks though. Im friends with a divorcee and he is very complicated but maybe its just him ? Hes nice but it never seems to go anywhere 
xx
Youre really lucky ā¦ i need a good pic though ā¦ i dont want a rubbish one to put on the website ā¦ just need to find someone to do one for me ! X
Bless you. I bet youāre gorgeous so donāt get overthinking it! The most important thing on a profile pic is a big smile! I agnonised for ages about pictures (Iām a size 18 and had no self confidence) but, you know what, I havenāt ever had anyone make any judgments (except compliments). Life is short Deb, go live it x
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Im not gorgeous but just done a decent selfie ā¦ ive joined it but tbh not got a clue what im doing. It all seems so strange to me ;( xx
I can totally resonate with ānot one person is ever going to be able to live up to how I feel about himā. Almost 13 months in for me, I am now trying very hard to get used to life alone without my angel but always hold fond memories of us together forever - itās hard but thereās no alternative
Take care
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Trying to.live it ā¦ honest i am ā¦
Would just like to meet a special person now ā¦ x
Brilliant! Well done Deb. Please feel free to PM if you want to ask me anything about my experiences lol x
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