Is there a right time or a wrong time? I know this is a personal choice as some members have already taken down their cards but mine have been up for ten weeks as of today…i had someone in m home a week or two ago ( the disable society chairman who was taking me to their fortnightly evening bingo ) which I shall not be continuing with, this was meant for me and Richard to enjoy, get out to have some fun ) who said in an abrupt way, about getting rid of-taking down my cards…I flew back my answer to him that I will leave them up until I am ready to take them down…Well now i think is the time but isn’t it like saying " time to move on with my life?" which I am not about to do…these cards are giving me comfort but they could also be adding to my grief, my loss, my bereavement, I am asking myself the true reason I am holding onto them for so log, I am still reluctant on taking them down…Of course I shall box them and keep them safe somewhere, the last thing on my mind is disposing them to the shredding machine…Why do people think they know what is best and place pressure on us to do something just because this is what this person expects of us to do? I have never been a one to just go with the flow and follow everyone else…I have always prided myself on being different and of being my own person…
Jackie…
Jackie…
Hi Jackie-Richard
How unfeeling was that person , you need to do want is right for you, interfering busybody
I actually couldn’t bear to have them up and soon after the funeral I threw them away.This was no disrespect to my lovely hubby or the kind people who sent them to me ,but it hurt too much to see them
Everyone deals with grief differently and people should r3spect that
If and when I do take them down, my parkhome will look more emptier than it is now without my Richard in it…but I know it has gone way over time to take them down, they are due to be taken down sooner rather than later, besides, what am I waiting for, why am I keeping them up? Richard is not coming back, is he?
Jackie…
Don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s when YOU feel you are ready
My husband died19/1 but I am sat here with his reading glasses and wallet at the side of me in the lounge
In the bedroom Ihave his other glasses on his bedside table and his comb with his hair in it
I will NEVER move them, some people will think me silly ,but they comfort me
1 Like
I have tken the condolence cards down, the home looks emptier than ever but I have ordered another bunch of " letterbox " flowers, and have placed the second bunch, the prettier roses next to the photo of Richard, the photos of our three fur-babies and their three ashes boxes, Richard absolutely loved flowers…
Jackie…
As long as it was the right decision for you and no pressure from others. My dad died 5 weeks ago and I guiltily took the cards down this afternoon as I know my mum will come round and she is definitely not ready to take hers down and I don’t want to offend her I just personally don’t like sympathy cards, i’ve Left a photo and some little cards which were attached to the sympathy cards and the order of service out but that makes me so sad
Struggling with… ( sorry I dont know your Christian name )
…for you the loss of your father is still very fresh for both yourself and your mother in losing her hubby…I lost my partner of now 20 years just 11 weeks ago…Yes I was not going to give in to anybody’s pressure when they made a comment to me about isn’t it time to take down the cards…I will do things in my time when when somebody thinks I should, and of course I did…when I felt ready to…
I have only kept and boxed the cards up that meant anything to my Richard…his family and his-our friends back home, Hertfordshire and Bedfordshire, not Dorset…
Jackie…
It was meant to have read…I will do things in MY time NOT when somebody thinks I should…
Hi thank you for your reply my name is Adrienne, well my mum came for dinner tonight and said you’ve taken your cards down but acknowledged what I left positively she said she didn’t know when to take hers down I just said when it’s right for her, they were married for 55 years and it’s so painful to watch her pain and struggling with things as well as my pain but I feel taking them down was the right thing for me I didn’t want to ask anyone as I wanted it to be my decision. Going back to work is another decision I’ll have to make I know I can stay off with GP support but feel conflict in myself between wanting to be there for my mum and what other people think of why I’m off so long, no one else I know has stayed off so long in fact my colleagues who have lost a family member were back the week after the funeral I struggle with these decisions, 11 weeks is still early for you stay strong x
Adrienne…
…thank you…will your line of work allow you to come back by cutting back your hours, your workload, for the time being…this may help if they would, if only for a temporary measure…If not and they are in no hurry for your return, take your time, you will know when you feel ready to return…There is nothing worse than having pressure put upon us…and there is nothing saying you have to follow suit because other work members have come back to work sooner, you are an individual…
Jackie…sending (((hug)))