It was 10 months yesterday since my beautiful dad passed away. I still speak to him everyday, up there.
Every week or two I take myself to the cemetery, because he deserved better than what I gave to him as a teenager. But I was just that, a teenager.
Today I went through our text message history, this is the first time that I’ve done that. Last week I cried over some old voicemails that I will never get rid of.
When looking back through our chat, my eyes opened as to how lucky I was, and am. All the way back to 2016, when I was 16.
My dad was a beautiful man, inside and out. He loved more than anyone I have ever met, and showed me a love that I don’t think I will ever experience again. Everything finished with “love dad”. Messages of pride and gratefulness for being my father and moments of care and concern where I didn’t see it. Looking back, I didn’t know how much he loved me, or how much I was worth. But now I think if he could love me like that, then I was really the luckiest child in the world.
I thought I was starting to come to terms with him leaving us, but every moment I am reminded of his love, the more I miss him so intensely and I cannot help but wish I were with him, even in death.
One day I will be with him again, feeling all of that love. For now, I know I have to wait. When these moments come, they are so hard to move past.
I know I am so lucky to have had a father to feel this way about, but god, does it hurt still!
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Hello Bella, I was touched by your post and I see that you are the same age as my daughter. I also have a son two years older. Their beautiful dad, my lifelong soulmate suddenly and unexpectedly left this world a year and a half ago. I just wanted to reach out to you and say that I can understand how devastating it must have been for you, losing your dad at 16.He must have been very young, I can imagine what you are going through, I see the sadness in my children’s eyes, they miss him so much, I am absolutely devastated and I know their grief is just as painful as mine. Even if your dad is no longer with you physically, I am sure he will always be looking down at you and taking care of you. You are so young, your great love for your dad and his great love for you will help you and comfort you, giving you courage and healing. Your special memories will never be taken away from you,they will guide you and give you strength.
A big hug to you.
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Hi Bella, all mums and dads love their children unconditionally it just what they do. Teenage years are difficult your were finding your way in the world and your dad would have been behind you every step of the way even If you didn’t realise it at the time.
My 17yr old granddaughter is having a difficult time at the moment with her dad, my son. But he will be there to pick up the pieces when she needs it .
Just hold on to that thought he loved you and still does.
Sending love
Debbie x
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Hello,
So sorry for your loss.
I lost my dad unexpectedly at august 11th 2020.
I think we always be missing them.
And I miss & love him so much.
Would give everything to give him a hug, hear his voice once more, smell his cologne.
Try to visit his grave once a month and on Christian celebration days as well as I did on Father’s Day.
Placed some white roses by his grave.
I write in a notebook letters to my dad and that also helps me a little bit.
I went to counseling as well.
I stopped it bc when the weather is better it always helps me and I see a lot of butterflies & my mom does too.
We hope that’s a sign of dad saying in watching over you and I see you.
I’m proud of you.
Janine.
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Hi Janine,
I saw on your profile that you are from the Netherlands. I am from the Netherlands too, but have lived in Essex since 1992. Did you know there is a Dutch website that is similar to this one? It is called Wie troost mij? (www,wietroostmij.nl) If you ever like to have a chat in Dutch, feel free to private message me.
Jo
Ja, ik ken die website.
Moet me er nog eens goed in verdiepen.
Zal een berichtje sturen als ik er behoefte aan heb.
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