It has now been 7months since my husband died. I have notice some changes in my grief. I am able to get up in the morning, draw back the curtains, go into kitchen and make my breakfast. I try to keep busy during the day. Then the evening arrives and the darkness hits me. Evening time is my time when I simply fall apart. I know this will last for a long time how long there is no answer. This is the second time I have been widowed, first at 52 and now 72. My birthday is in a few weeks and now I have to go through the process of all these first times. I will be with my family on that day and all the others that approach. I sleep not too badly if I was not sleeping I could not cope with the daytime. This then lets me fall apart in the evening. I wait for the tears and lonliness to overwhelm me. I have to let that happen if I did not then I would be really worried about my mental health. No one wants to hear the words time heals. It really does if you let it, the grief never goes away we just learn to adapt our lives with grief being present.


7 months since I lost my Joan, it’s the opposite for me, I’m ok at night but the mornings are terrible, got up this rainy morning and started missing her terribly, I took our niece with her 3 month old baby boy for breakfast,I couldn’t eat mine, I told her that she must tell her son about his aunty Joan, it’s little things that drag you into horrible sadness, Joan had started shopping for the baby as soon as she found out our niece was pregnant but died before he was born.


I am so sorry for your loss.l have been widowed twice as well.first when l was 42 & last November when l was 62.time is a great healer.but its getting through all those 1st milestones.which brings all those painful memories up.but we do & we move on.sending you love xx

I agree the first milestones are very difficult.

Hello ghostwoman999
So sorry for the loss of your husband. Like you I have just lost my second husband. I was 54 when my first husband died and 72 for my late husband. My first husband died suddenly with heart failure and I was devastated. I felt like I would never get over it but my second husband was like a guardian angel helping me with my sorrow. He was a widower, so we were able to console each other. I am going through 4th month of grief . I find the mornings when I wake and my husband isnt there is the worst time for me also the evenings. I am trying to mix with the local widows but although they are lovely I dont feel like doing anything most days. My birthday is on the 27th. Not looking forward to that either, like you. We would have celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary on 5 October. Definitely dreading that. I did my first theatre trip without him and got emotional. My first holiday wasnt so good either. I know there is light at the end of the tunnel but its getting to terms with being on my own that is devastating at my age.
I wish you well and glad you are feeling a bit better and wish you lots of progress. Sending you a hug. Maria x

Thank you, some days it eases, then others I feel haunted all day. As I get closer to my birthday the lonliness is overwhelming. I was out shopping this morning and had to go into a card shop for my brothers birthday. The realisation of no longer buying cards for him caught me of guard in the shop and the tears were rolling down my face. I got one or two strange looks an the assistant asked me if I was all right. I said yes and left the shop without buying a card.

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