I just wondered how everyone feels about passing time? Does it heal? I know we will never forget, or really be the same again, but so many come on the site after many years of bereavement and still seem to be feeling bad. Obviously, those who ‘get over it’ quickly will probably not be on this site, but I wonder how others see passing time, as a help or otherwise? My wife of 60 odd years of marriage passed away recently, am I told by so many well meaning people that time does heal to a certain extent. Does it depend on the individual or is it a truth that applies to us all? I don’t know and it’s why I ask. The suffering we feel can’t really be put into words because words are so inadequate, but it’s all we have to communicate with each other. Words, in the course of time, can be comforting but also distressing when said in inappropriate ways. So many, who have not suffered, give what they feel is good advice, but, like anxiety, one has to have been there to know.
Wishing everyone well and Bless you all.
I suspect that the answer to your question is much more complicated than it first appears and that there is no absolute truth. There are so many variables at play.
As a starting point I think we would need to be able to establish what the notion of being ‘healed’ actually means. Is it the same for everyone. Do you know what being healed would look like or feel like. Can you describe that, quantify it or qualify it.
Do we all start at the same point. Effectively I had four years notice that my wife was dying. Some people had zero notice. That presumably is another variable that we need to consider.
Could other things be taken into account such as access to therapies, services, etc that may help in the healing process.
My own view is that I don’t expect to heal as such. I will carry a ‘weakness’ with me which will have a direct effect on my abilities and capabilities. I have been through the most Traumatic event I have ever faced, something I was ill prepared for, and I know that however I live on will be impacted by this. I just don’t know to what extent. As you say it might be to a “certain extent”.