Tired of therapy and feeling alone

My mother died suddenly last year. I’m my mothers only child and my dads middle. My mom and dad separated when I was 12. From that point on it’s been my mom and I. I was 44 when she passed. I immediately got into therapy and 6 months in I went on leave from my job for 3 months because I started having anxiety attacks. I went on medicine which has done nothing for the sad but made it possible for me to function at work. I’m married with no children and live in a different place from where I grew up.

I wrote all this to explain that I’m struggling because I feel that there are plenty of people to talk to about grief but the gap of not having the person that was my safe place leaves no feeling of a safe place. My wife is an awesome person but I often feel her POV is “I love you but…” it’s quite the lonely feeling because all the people that raised me and I would turn to are gone. I often feel like I don’t fit anywhere. My wife lost her mom a few years before me and she’s from where we live. So she has family that she grew up with and a younger brother. I feel like she tries to comfort my mother’s death but I don’t struggle with her death. I’m triggered by events that cause me to want a safe place. Which was my mom and once I start to think about she’s not here. I feel completely alone and nowhere to go. I really just want to move on and feel better or have a form of sadness that is consistent as I have developed extreme lows. I don’t know if any of this makes sense but I’m kind of lost and tired of therapy. Has anyone else experienced this?

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Hello @Gerron,

I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your mother that brings you here.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex

I think that your feelings of being lost and wanting your safe place are completely “normal” in grief when loosing a parent. My whole foundation has been shaken from my mums passing 4 months ago. Anxiety took over everything for me, my mental and physical health have been impacted and I have definitely felt lost in all of it.
It’s a lonely journey (and I’ve got a good support system in my siblings and friends) but because grief affects us all differently it can still feel lonely.
Keep sharing on here, read all the different threads….you will find this is a good (safe) place to be with lots of lovely people who will help.

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