Over the past 3 years I have lost 10 family members, including my lovely mum in February this year. My heart is broken. I miss her so so much. Although I was fortunate that my mum lived to 96.5. The downside to this. since 2005 I moved back to live with my mum, so had her in my life every day. Even when I lived further away, I came to see my mum twice a week and phoned everyday.
Right now I feel i cannot cope and do not see the point in life. My husband and I lived with my mum in her local authority house. We both cared for my mum. We have been fortunate that they have been accommodating. I found out a few months ago that we are not able to stay in what was my family home. I have been granted a tenancy on exceptional circumstances both on the grounds of my mental health and my husbands physical health. This means we would be allocated a 1 bedroom property and have been advised that it could be anywhere in the borough. Some areas are not nice and we definitely would not want to live in those. So we have decided to move away from where we live, to a different town. Today I have felt so sad, upset, lost and at my wits end. I think it is a combination of the massive hole in my life with my mum no longer here and having to leave the family home with all the memories of both my mum and dad. It is almost as if it was a realisation today that i have to go and leave this behind. On the other hand I would not want to stay here as we have such awful neighbours on one side. They are noisy rude and aggressive. When they first moved in there was nothing but fights and arguments all day and night. I know they also supply drugs of some kind. But i am so torn to know I cannot stay here, although I would not want to because of them and would hate be put somewhere I did not want to live! We are in the process of moving to another property which is quite away from where are in London. This is bringing about apprehension, anxiety and a feeling hopelessness and failure. My husband has had lots of health problems including having had cancer. We have to go back to hospital for a review on a nodule found on his lung. It all just feels to much to cope with or bear as well as hoping to move into our new place before Christmas. Can anyone help with advice or express their thoughts. As you can see my head is in a whirl.
Thank you in advance.