It’s been three months of pain both emotional and physical, but the weird thing is the pain inside is becoming weirdly comforting. For me it’s Tyler.
I look at the photos and watch the videos and just to see and hear him is so painful and at the same time it feels me up, I find myself sobbing and smiling. Everyday I offer up myself to be taken instead of him knowing it’s not possible. I think about a time when it won’t hurt this much knowing that’s never going to come. That this is just a thing that I’ll just learn to carry with me. For those of you that are in those soul destroying first weeks my advice is to read and write with our community know your not alone we are as one in our grief and have an understanding that others can never and hopefully will never have.
I send out love to all of our sons and daughters and each and every one of us. Together we will share xx
Thank You Kate…I lost my Son in December 2017 and it as helped me immensely to come on this forum and be able to talk openly about just how you are feeling …though family and friends have been so supportive its only other parents that have lost sons and daughters that know the grief that can be so unbearable…Somehow this forum gives you the strength that you need to carry on day by day …Like you my my love goes to all parents on this site…Marina xx
I’ve been on this forum many times since my younger son Nick died suddenly aged 17 in August 2015 and read many moving and emotional messages, but yours especially resonated with me and summed up the way I feel . I talk to him all the time , in the car , in the house , telling him a hat I’ve done, what I’m thinking , you name it . It makes me feel close to him and it helps me deal with it even though the sadness is ever present . I often feel like I’m in a dream like state ; I want to make the best of my life but I feel often like I’m on a cloud and slightly detached from life at the same time. I know he’s with me even though I can’t see him , and I feel very very fortunate to have known and loved him and had him as my son and i can see you feel the same about Tyler .