Today has been a bad day

Hello bjane. You summed up my own feelings when you say ‘I’ve lost me’. I too don’t know who I am anymore. That morning cuppa in bed shared together. Picking me up from the hairdresser. Doing our shopping together. I find that now 7 weeks after he died I don’t enjoy anything I cook. Mike always loved cooking so always did it. We always said we were always a two and now that phrase hurts. At bedtime his last words were always God Bless - Sweet Dreams. Those were also the last words I said to him in hospital before he died.

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I hear you sweetie, I lost my soulmate love of my life in march this year to cancer I will never get over it , I then lost my mum with in 2 weeks of losing my partner both to cancer, The Corona Virus is like a kick in the privates when your going through grief, I live for our little girl, she is only 6 years old and it breaks my heart to see her miss her daddy, He was the best man in the world , everyday I talk to him , everyday feels like ripping a plaster off a fresh wound. You seem to distract yourself like it’s not your life then you look and something reminds you of your love and the the tears of past present and what could of been arise from our shattered hearts, death is so final and it hurts so much , it is not self putty it is human emotions , I hope everyone has some healing sent to them from where ever , your not alone xx

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Oh Jean and Joanne’s life sucks I feel for you. There’s no joy in anything anymore, I just thought this morning how lucky I’d been with my cuppa in bed every morning without fail, then you said it
too Jean. I keep thinking if all the things we used to do together , places we liked going to and it’s all just disappeared, never going to happen again. So heartbreaking. How terrible for you to lose your Mum too, J L S, life just isn’t fair. The one you’ve always looked to for support can’t be with and that’s just a constant stab in the heart. My Mum died when my first child was one and somehow he kept me going, but you’ve got double grief and it will be so hard for you to be strong for your daughter. Nothing we can say can make your pain go away but just know that we’re sending care and lovex

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Hi Joanne what a nightmare especially loosing your mom as well so sorry. My kids are 24 and 26 granddaughter 2 some days I don’t want to be here only want Mick also passed in March with bowel cancer. When I think like that I have to pull myself together I would not do anything because I couldn’t put my kids through this heartbreaking times. Love to you and your daughter xx

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I am so sorry for yourself and little girl makes my rant mean silly when you read how wee kids are effected, sending love and light :revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts:

Am like you sweetie, First counsellor I spoke to asked me why didnt I follow Paul, I sayd because I feel and see the pain daily he didnt mean to go, Why would I do that to the kids snd grandkids her reply was thats an excuse, So I said stop no more questions because if you dont like the answers there is no point you working with the public, sending you love and light :revolving_hearts:

The counsellor should not be working with the bereaved what a reply. I had counselling over the phone through my work the Nhs for 2 months weekly she was brilliant at first I could not speak towards the end everything came out. Sorry for your loss too. Take care x

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Dr has made a report on her, She was awful said go get grieve counsellors Drs shouldnt be sending people here I can only help you with effects it might cayse your ptsd, I was like is she for real, Its wellbeing centre they do grieve so hes reported her, Thank you so much, ps had nhs Counsellor before when had accident and like you great to start with then when got deep I couldnt leave the house to even go, tried on the phone but lasted 4/5wks she was going to far back when I only needed help from my accident :revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts:

I think we can only get through this by ourselves because no one really understands the grief if not been there we will one day find some peace I hope xx

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Totally agree, Sending you much love :revolving_hearts:

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That’s terrible Andrae, so glad she was reported. It takes special people to be able to empathise at such a terrible time. Am having my first counselling on Friday so don’t know what to expect really! Take carex

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Reading these thoughts is making me cry, not that it takes much effort to cry at the the moment. My June passed 6 weeks ago, I was forunate to be with her at the end. I’m told the funeral went well, I don’t remember any of it. My mother died in may of a broken heart - her youngest son, my little brother died inMarch. I am numb. I don’t k ow howthis can end and I’m not suree icare if it never does. I try to carry-ojn, but what’s the point. I’m just waiting here till I’m with her again, hope it’s soon

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Omg a partners loss is hard my heart is breaking for you. So sorry for all your loses I can’t cope with my husband passing. Sending my love x

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Just what I was thinking Kim, how ever are you coping Dave? My heart , broken already, is breaking all over again for you. Nobody should have to bear that amount of grief and there just aren’t words, nothing we could say or do to lessen your pain. I feel like I died too when I lost Malcolm so suddenly and I just can’t imagine how it felt when you lost June so soon after those other losses. All we can do is share your grief and send you love and caring thoughts.x

Thank you all, in truth, all I care about is June, can’t think about mum and Ken. I’m trying to hold it together like all of us, but it’s so hard and i dob’t know why I try. I’m finding that I can go a few hours without thining about he, tjem it jsu cpmes ove me and i’m numb, then feel guilty for not thhinjing of her. making decisions without considering June is so hard and unfair

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Losing the love of your life is the worst thing you could ever imagine. It’s all the day to day stuff that we miss , just knowing they were there and sharing everything. Without them nothing is right , nothing seems to matter , just no joy in life without them. All the things we took for granted , plans for the future, places we were going to go, all just gone in the blink of an eye. .All of us on here are going through our own hell but somehow managing to carry on with that massive part of ourselves forever missing. And that’s the killer, it is for ever now , that’s our life now whether we like it or not , that frustration that we had no control over what happened. We can’t have them back but somehow have to manage this life on our own. So impossible, but at least we can give voice to all those feelings on here and know we are being supported and not judged for”not getting over it yet” It does help. x

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Best of luck for friday :revolving_hearts:

Thank you so much Andrae. hope you are feeling okay today. Well, not okay, we probably aren’t going to feel that way for a long time if ever, maybe just not quite as bad today. Our husbands didn’t suffer and that’s the thing that I hang onto , that keeps me going . Sending lovex

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Thank you that was such a lovely message it made me cry , Life is very hard right now , It helps to have others that understand , not that I want others to go through any loss , but life is cruel and kindness and warmth at difficult times helps alot , I am going to be broken for a long long time but the love I have for my daughter will give me the strength to get through life , Thank u for being so kind

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No your not silly your a beautiful person we all make the world a better place for others one way or another

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