Today I snapped at a very special loved one that has always been there for me. I have been going through a horrific week dealing with a series of issues left behind by my husband for me to figure out by myself. It’s been so stressful that at times I’ve felt nauseous. And this person writes to me after a week of not responding to my text saying that she’s been having a horrible week at work. Oh dear friends I did lose it. I said I would take one of your horrible work days anytime instead of the horrific week I’m having as a widow and I don’t want to hear anything about work. I just had to let it out. It’s so frustrating to see others magnify the minutae of life and not understand where you stand in deep loss… I feel like a mean person which I’m certainly not.
Having snapped at several loved ones recently I hear exactly what you are saying. It left me feeling like the most horrible person alive. It just gets overwhelming at times, I feel overwhelmed daily and so when people fuss over me, don’t listen when i say no or just say the wrong thing (my favourite being have a lovely sleep - really?) I can and have snapped.
You were overwhelmed by a horrible week, that’s allowed and absolutely normal. Apologising and forgiving myself seems to exorcise the spiralling thoughts which have followed each of my outbursts. I keep it simple, “I’m sorry, I’m a bit overwhelmed”. Then I forget it. I certainly don’t mean to be ill mannered, nor do you do.
Go easy on yourself. Xx
A true friend will understand, this is your grief speaking! 
I agree a true friend would understand that it is grief coming out. I’ve fallen out with my sister today as we are mourning in very different ways. I’ve also felt so nauseous this last few months worrying about my dad having a heart attack and going on to have open heart surgery. I now understand the term worried sick. This time three weeks ago we were chatting and having a laugh, I’ve lost both parents within 5 years and feel so alone. Loss is so cruel.
Amazing how we have physical symptoms so attached to our grieving. It takes our entire body to work thru this…good to know I’m not alone.
I’m trying to take comfort in anything and I’m not the only one going through this too. My dad would be so sad for me and my sister having to go through this again and finding him how we did. I couldn’t imagine him not making it through the operation