Was just thinking the same thing this morning about Sunday roasts. What is the point?
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Anyone who thinks you should be over the death of a loved one in 4 months had been fortunate enough not to walk our path. It’s 4 months for me , too.
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Four months for me and sometimes I feel
like I am coping very well but actually filling my time going out with friends when all I want is my darling partner back.
Feeling so teary this evening.
Thinking of all our friends on this forum. Xx
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I know how you are feeling I lost my wife 17 month ago we did everything together I still grieve for even now il never stop thinking off her ever I’d known her since we were 15 yrs old we were married 62 years im 80 now it was our wedding anniversary on Sunday we always went for a holiday for our anniversary somewhere nice and warm for 2 weeks the furthest I go now is for shopping we have a big garden what we both loved it’s very hard to come.to terms on my own
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Four months is such a short time and I really feel for you. Your post hit a note with me, doing things alone for the first time is so hard to bear. In a few weeks time it will be 2 yrs for me since I lost my dear husband of almost 52 years and it still seems so raw and yes, people do think I should be over it by now but how can that ever happen, it’s impossible. Things do get a little easier to bear and you will, one day feel a little less heartbroken. For me the emotions seem to buid up over a matter of weeks and then I have a real meltdown. Today was one of those days and I sobbed and sobbed but then I wrote to my husband as I’ve mentioned before on this site, I poured out all the same regrets and feelings of guilt and deep love and ended up writing 7 pages. It helps me and afterwards I felt much calmer and got on with the day. My sister lost her husband of 49 yrs 3 months ago and hearing her cry on the phone most days brings back all the first emotions I had. I’m finding her calls very hard but know i would have been glad to have been able to talk to someone who knew what i was going through. Perhaps there’s someone you might know whose also suffered such a huge loss who might be able to help you? I hope so. Take care.
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Had the family here today but had the sadness that my darling partner wasn’t with me. Once they left I had some tears. Mainly thinking that we would have cleared up, had a glass of wine, watched a bit of tv and gone to bed- a perfect day.
We would have talked about our grown op kids and laughed/joked about all the good times shared with them.
He had his own sons too but greatly enjoyed spending time with my family too - which was lovely. Such a lovely family man with his and mine.
Oh God I miss him so much 
.
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Thinking of what our spouses/partners are missing is heartbreaking. It feels so unfair.
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Hi RoseGarden,that is so true.
Good times or bad -wonder if this sadness/loneliness ever goes.
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I really, really hope so xx
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I’m at almost 8 months and have no feeling that I’m ’getting over’ this loss. Though I can see that these awful periods come in waves, and the in-between times are getting longer, which I suppose is progress of a sort.
The last few days have been so bad, I think because the weather has been lovely, which so reminds me of how we would walk around the garden, reviewing all the jobs that needed doing (I used to joke that I should carry a clipboard with a note pad to write it all down, as otherwise we’d both forget!); we’d have breakfast outside and just enjoy the peace and beauty of the place. I did that yesterday and ended up in tears at all those memories and things we will never share again.
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So sorry.
Being in the garden when it played such a large part in your lives is an emotional thing.
The first couple of times, I just couldn’t stop crying.
I have been in the garden a few more times, but I can’t say it’s easy as I can see
all the things he has done in the garden. I could even picture him working in certain places.
However, I think it’s a question of persevering and going out into the garden some more times. I certainly hope I’m right as I would like to get back at at least some feeling of the pleasure and peace I used to get being in the garden.
This is a rollercoaster of a journey, but as you have written the gaps between seem to be longer. I think that is progress, but of course the bad bits are really bad. I hope they become shorter for both of us.
Take care,
Rose x
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I feel that all the time RoseGarden, I think of the things he was hoping to do places he wanted to visit after the operation which he he so sadly didn’t survive . We both were so looking forward to the op thinking it would be a new lease of life for him after being unable to do very much at all for the last few years but not to be. Take care.
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So very sorry.
Our plans have been snatched away from us haven’t they?
We have not only lost our loved ones, our joined lives but also our plans.
It is so unfair.
I hope I will get to a point where I will go somewhere we had planned to visit and tell him I’m there for both of us and feel he’s with me.
To be honest, I think that is quite a way in the future.
Sending a very big hug x
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Right back at you RoseGarden x
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Hello everyone,
I’ve removed a number of posts from this thread as it has gone off-topic from the opening post.
In our Terms and Conditions, we say:
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Please remember that the purpose of the community is to support people who are experiencing grief or coping with the end-of-life. We are a diverse community and ask that everyone be respectful of each other. If conversations go off-topic and/or are no longer supportive, then we do reserve the right to remove posts so that members can still give and receive support.
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