I’ve just walked round to the village hall to cast my vote. Just an ordinary chore, not romantic or meaningful. But it’s something that over the last 50 years we routinely did together. The first time his name wasn’t next to mine on the electoral register. The first time we hadn’t spent the preceding week talking politics…it was one of his main interests. So I walked home with tears streaming down my face.
I suppose I should congratulate myself on getting out of the house in the first place, on remembering there was an election and even taking my photo ID, but I feel as if I’m a complete mess. And people seem to think I should be getting over it by now. It’s only four months!
18 Likes
So sorry for your loss.
Doing something by yourself that you used to do together is a hard and very emotional thing to do.
There are so many everyday things couples do together.
Also we usually have our individual roles in the house and our relationships.
Recently I went shopping in a store that we would go to together…
We had our set routine and roles at the checkout. This time it was just me.
I really understand, nobody in the store obviously knew what I was going through.
I was just doing the usual at the checkout.
I definitely think you should feel proud of yourself!
It is another of those awful Firsts that we have to go through.
People who think you should be getting over it after only 4 months, definitely do not understand.
So many of us on this site understand.
Take care x
6 Likes
@AnnieMacG I completely get this. It is often the simplest and most mundane things that floor me. I’m two months in and there is definitely a feeling out there (especially from my work!) that it’s time to be getting over it now. This is plainly ridiculous as the sadness is all consuming most days still. You should be proud though for bothering - a little part of your husband living on with you xx
3 Likes
I didn’t bother…who cares …they are all corrupt…if someone loses by one vote maybe I’ll reflect…
4 Likes
Lol … i nearly didnt bother either @UnityMan - nearly turned back home but thought seem as all those suffragettes tied themselves to the railings to get the vote for women i had better do !!
As it turned out they were quite nice actually and even let me take my dog in with me 
xx
5 Likes
Actually the only election on our ballot paper was for the Police Commissioner so not really of any significance! I don’t even really believe in the role, but I felt I should get out of the house and do my civic duty! As others have said, women fought hard for me to have the privilege of voting.
2 Likes
I went to a garden centre today with a friend. My partner and I visited there several times and always went home with something .
Today the utter sadness of returning home knowing I hadn’t gone with him was so overwhelming. It has made me have one of those days where your stomach is constantly knotted and you just feel so very sad and lonely with that longing to have them with you….if only.
Sending love to all on here tonight.
8 Likes
I have to confess I didn’t bother. This country is broken and nothing will fix it now sadly, all politicians are corrupt and liars so not giving any of them my vote. If Emily Pankhurst was here today I think she wouldn’t blame me lol
2 Likes
I nearly didnt tbh ! As my mother said , who is 84 , this country needs a revolution to fix it ! I can see that coming one day tbh ! Its such a mess ! X
1 Like
I have not been brave enough to go the one we really enjoyed visiting.
I don’t know if I ever will.
You tackled a very difficult thing today. Sending hugs x
2 Likes
Very difficult day Both my dear departed husband and I always voted I decided to do a postal vote this year I feel so angry with both the Tories and Labour on the issues of Palestine and the NHS education etc it was difficult to choose an alternative My husband came from Africa and where voters often are really intimidated So we need to appreciate our privileges to be able to vote
Hoping for more spending on NHS and Benefits and education to prevent unnecessary deaths and suffering I have read so many traumatic posts on here about people dying due to lack of spending on services Often think of them and the unnecessary suffering they have experienced Blessings
1 Like
I agree we are privileged to be able to vote without intimidation or corruption but this country is in such a bad state of affairs that i think ordinary people have just had enough of it tbh… people are switching off from politics because they just dont seem to do anything x
1 Like
You’re better than me… I couldn’t face going alone so didn’t vote. At least you had the courage… you should be proud of yourself.
1 Like
Thats true … but i cried when i got home 
it was hard to do alone youre right xx
1 Like
Your post made me smile. Thank you
1 Like
Yeh same - not seeing his name next to mine ! Another damn reminder. I cried when i got home and yeh i think lot of people fed up of tories ! Xx
1 Like
Four months is very early days. My husband died 3 months ago and I felt the same. I do postal vote and just mine arrived. Sad.
3 Likes
I completely understand this. It’s another milestone and they keep cropping up and they do hurt.
I ended up in tears on Thursday on more than one occasion.
For many years I have been a polling clerk in our village. I did consider not doing it but Jeff wanted me to carry on doing things that were normal for me. I also get on very well with the lady I work with.
When Jeff was alive I would leave him in bed as I headed to the polling station. He would call in with our dog to cast his vote in the morning. At 6pm he would bring us fish and chips for dinner and at 10pm he would come round and walk me home.
This year there was nobody to kiss goodbye in the morning. My dog had to go to my son’s overnight. There was no fish and chips and I walked home alone.
I told him about my day and I watched Countdown before bed.
There were a few tears shed throughout the day. Hopefully it will be not as hard when it’s the general election in the winter.
5 Likes
So sorry for your loss & pray for strength and peace. Lost my beloved Mum (90yrs) a week ago and beyond devasted. Thought we had a few more years. Like you took my younger brother to vote ( he’s 52yrs and autistic & we all lived together ) and it felt surreal and I felt so guilty about continuing to do such a mundane thing. Mum & I also chatted about politics, me slightly more agitated by it all but yes I send you love and strength and peace. Andrea x
1 Like
I am sorry for your loss. What a great age and I hope all the memories help to comfort you.
Some people seem to think that just because a person dies at such a good age it doesn’t hurt as much because they were old. The pain is still the same for those left behind.
2 Likes