Today has been difficult. It’s been nearly 8 weeks. I’ve spent the whole day going round in circles. Being in denial. Realising it’s true. Crying because of how my mum died as it was sudden with no warning. I feel sad that she won’t see her grandchildren grow up. She adored them.
I feel in a bit of a dark hole today so this is why I’m posting again.
Grief is a horrible journey and it is not getting easier. As people keep saying.
Hello @54321 ,
I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. It sounds as though things are feeling incredibly painful for you at the moment and you are feeling like you are going round in circles; grief as you say is a horrible journey.
I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you right now.
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
You may also find the below Sue Ryder article helpful, have a read when you feel ready.
Losing a parent - coping with the death of a parent | Sue Ryder
Take care - keep reaching out,
Alex
Thank you for your kind words x
So sorry you are feeling like this. It’s nearly 8 weeks since I lost my mum too. I know how you’re feeling, it’s just so hard.
Take time for you and don’t worry if you are having a bad day, it’s to be expected and you have to grieve in your own way, in your own time.
Keep posting and talking, it’s the only way to get through this. Sending you lots of love and a big hug x
Hi 54321,
8 weeks is a very short time since losing your mum and the grief is likely still very raw.
It has been six months since my Dad died and some days feel worse than others and it can feel like i’m back at when I first lost him. I have found that grief is unpredictable and I can feel ok one moment and incredibly sad, angry or lost the next. There are also days and weeks where I feel stronger and sometimes the debilitating grief can last for days or weeks at a time.
I personally think that it is a myth that it gets easier. I have no doubt that I will think of my Dad everyday for the rest of my life and in some ways I find that comforting as when I think of him and miss him I feel very connected to him still. I do think we adapt and with time maybe the days where the grief feels so heavy and painful may become more manageable.
Xx
Hi, yes I am having a difficult day too. I had a letter from the DWP asking me to pay back some pension credit they sent after my Mum’s death…
It seems that each time I get a letter referring to my Mum’s death it sends me into a spiral of grief. I’ve had three weekends like this now… What a hellish time! I’ve had dreams about my Mum too and that hasn’t helped as they are about her dying. It’s nearly 4 months since she died and I probably feel worse as time passes…
It’s so hard. Thank you for sharing your stories. This forum is a great help -all we can do is be there for each other. It helps to talk with people who are sadly going through the same.
I just feel sad every day that mum isn’t here. Sad how she died. And we didn’t get to say goodbye. Life is cruel.
Here’s to a more positive day. Look after yourselves 
That is exactly how i feel right now. I cried myself to sleep last night…its hard to start each day without mum and to be honest, after 8 weeks i still just cant believe its true…im scared to imagine how ill feel when i do. Im sure its the shock of how we lost them…i feel so terrible for not being with mum at the hospital and how ignorant i was to think she would be fine and home soon. I still thought there was time, she had never been ill. But mum was 89…i berate myself for not seeing the reality of how seriously ill mum was and reading her symptoms wrongly, it all happened so fast…i just cant come to terms with it…i feel so so guilty that i was not there and im terrified she knew she wouldnt make it…gosh there, ive said it…it is so hard, i too hope for more positive days
I’m sorry you are finding it hard too. Maybe we need to be easy on ourselves and understand that it’s still early days.
You shouldn’t feel guilty - you were there for your mum and she knew that
Bless you for that kind response…it is early days…i had a person be unpleasant to me today and thats really hard to deal with. I felt unable to cope with it because i know ive lost my unconditional back up…even if i was sometimes wrong…i suppose we will get stronger but its a vulnerable time…i didnt realise how much i relied on mums unspoken and spoken protection. You take care too. Were in similar places and i so much appreciate your words…
Sorry you had a difficult experience today. You’re right - we are vulnerable. This is the hardest time of my life as I’m sure it is yours. We need to look after ourselves. I miss mum so much.
Just remember that how you’re feeling is totally valid; grief hits us all at different time and as another poster said, 8 weeks is no time at all and everything is still so raw. You’re still processing this enormous loss. Be kind to yourself and know you’re not alone.
You’re so right. Thank you
This site is such a big help