My husband died 7 weeks ago after a short, aggressive disease took him from me, it was 58 days from an investigative X-ray to him passing. He was 58 years old and had so much personality, kindness and love to give.
We were boy and girl next door, together 36 years, celebrating our silver wedding in July while he was ill.
It’s hard to cope with the pain I feel and I am struggling to believe he really won’t be coming back. Due to the nature of his disease the Coroner is investigating so I’ve not been able to register his death. His inquest is in two weeks and the notification of it brought the first crushing pain of his loss right back and I’m feeling super emotional. I went to M&S today where the Christmas stalls are up, and seeing these hit me that he won’t be by my side.
I’ve read about grief and what to expect, but it’s worse than any emotion I’ve experienced, and just hope this will become easier to live with with the passage of time. My family and friends are supporting, I appreciate I am lucky with that, but I feel awful putting my pain on them and being a ‘miserable Minnie’, so I paint on a brave face most of the time and say I am doing okay,
I am so sorry for your loss. Take baby steps each day. I am on week 13 and each day is a different feeling. I have good and bad days. Keep talking on here we are all at different stages and help each other xx
Hoss I can sympathise with you. I lost my gorgeous fantastic beautiful wife sue to pancreatic cancer on the 1st February this year.i miss sue so much it hurts more each day. I just plaster a brave face on as well. But my daughter and stepson dave family know when i am not doing well.but i made sue a promise to carry on fighting for life and I will honour the promise I made.were all on the same journey
@Hoss am so so sorry for your loss. Nobody can ever begin to explain the pain. I lost my step dad in July this year. We were all going on a family holiday for my 20th Anniversary, my husband, my 2 kids and him and my mam. We never got there. End of May my daughter turned 18, we had family meal he was in great spirits saying couldnt wait till holidays so she could buy him a drink. Less than 2 weeks later we got told he had cancer and 2 weeks later he was gone. My world has broken, he was my go too. Its very very raw for you. Dont feel guilty that you are sad. You need support at this awful time. I had a meltdown in Iceland cause seen Prawn Ring!! It was our thing for Christmas. Every big event is going be painful. I am dreading Christmas as he was worse than the kids. Sending big hugs Grief is horrific xx
We all know how you are feeling - but it’s very early days for you and you need time to process everything and look after yourself.Those first weeks are so stressful so take all offers of help and I found keeping busy and meeting friends helped a lot.
I’m 7 months in now and things are so much better. I now remember how lucky we were to have those many happy years together - and feel he is always with me as I move on as he would want me to. Give yourself time - things will never be the same - but remember the happy times.
My wife is always with me, everyone is in the same boat here, God bless, take care
@Hoss So sorry for your loss. Everyone on here feels much the same. Keep chatting to us as I find it helps just to write it down. Take care. Hugs. Ann
Hoss, the pain is so bad. You have summed up your loss so eloquently. I lost my darling son a month ago, it was just me and him. Now i just come home to silence and emptiness.
I truly hope you find some peace and solace.