Today was a bad day

It’s almost three weeks since my wonderful hubby died. His funeral isn’t until the 7th Dec. I intended to take his suit (the one he got married in) to the funeral directors. I thought I could handle it. Big mistake. One look at all his shirts hanging up just broke me. I couldn’t stop crying and calling his name. I miss him so much. It hurts so much. I feel so lost and alone. My daughter and her family live three hours away. I feel so vulnerable and scared. Tony was always there for me. We were inseparable. How does anyone carry on liviing with this pain inside them. I feel ripped apart. I can’t believe I will never see him again. Never hold his hand or have a hug. My life is empty. Nothing has any meaning for me. I’m hardly eating. I just sit in front of the TV in a fog.


I am so sorry for your loss do you have any good friends that could maybe stay with you just now?

No not really. My daughter and her family came down for the weekend but had to go back home yesterday. My mum is almost blind and in a wheelchair and my dad and step mum are on holiday. My sister in law is coming with me tomorrow to take his clothes to the funeral directors. I’ve always been a private person, no real close friends. My life pretty much revolved around my husband.


I’m so sorry your going through this lost my husband 1year ago and the pain is terrible but I’m 1year on and I cry every day but not as bad as I was at the beginning I was married 44years to the love of my life you take care of yourself lv annie x

Dear Joules58

I am so sorry for your loss and you are having a bad day. Could your family or friends take yours husbands suit to the funeral directors for you instead. You carry on living for the love of your daughter and family and by taking 1 step at a time each day and looking after yourself.

Have you thought about talking to your daughter, friends and neighbours as to how you are feeling. Cruse Bereavement have a helpline available for chatting to how you feel (UK residents only) 0808 808 1677 and an online chat Bereavement Counsellor is available. All free.

Sue Ryder offer a Counselling Service also. Have you looked at the topic on here on Losing a partner to connect with other members of the community. You are not alone in this .

Everything you are going through is normal and part of the grieving process. Your life has been turned upside down and it is perfectly normal to feel the way you do. It has only been 3 weeks since the loss of your husband so things are still very raw.

We are here to support you always. Take care. xx

I know exactly what you mean, Jim and I lived for one another but our children are all within 20 miles so I have had some lovely support……I hope all goes well at his funeral :two_hearts:

It’s been 8 months since my world fell apart when my one and only true love of 28 years died at only 49. Since then I have heard all the usual clichés ‘one day at a time’ ’ time is a great healer’ etc etc . However, the one that stuck in my mind was ‘Its ok not to be ok’ . I am very similar tou in that Gail was my life and don’t have many people to talk to but sharing on here does help in a little way to help understand that you are not alone.

Take care

Thank you Damien
Yes some comments are so shallow and mostly from people who haven’t lost someone so dear to them.
It’s OK not to be OK sounds good to me. Also someone else on here wrote, if I MUST live my life without my husband it has to be a LIFE . I think my husband would agree with that too.
Today I took his clothes to the funeral directors accompanied by my sister in law and when I got home I did two hours of weeding. My garden is nothing special but Tony used to love buying me different plants for the garden, (not that they all flourished) but it helped lift my spirits.
Yes I agree, this site is very helpful in knowing we’re not alone and we know and can share the terrible pain of losing someone we loved so deeply.
Take care.

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I too lost my husband recently , 10th November. I have had lots of support and the funeral on Tuesday was a very positive event. However today I am finally on my own and it all hurts so much. I am crying, drinking, I feel panicky and I just can’t accept that he will never be back. I am angry. Angry at the cancer and angry that he got cancer and died leaving me alone.

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It’s such a sad time, I’m sorry for your loss cancer took my husband too, do whatever it takes to get through the coming days and look after yourself and please take whatever help is offered, let people know how you’re feeling and take care, thinking of you and your family and all the rest of our poor souls on the same road xx

Thank you for your messages
I too get moments of anger. As you say anger with the cancer and anger of being left alone. I had a fall on Monday and cracked my face on the pavement. Lots of cuts to my temple and a lovely black eye, bruised ribs and jarred my pre-existing back injury. I felt so alone having to deal with this by myself and not having Tony around to comfort me, (and probably telling me off for being clumsy). I can’t bear the thought of not having him around ever.

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Aww Joules58,so sorry to hear you had a bad fall my heart goes out to you,I know we all feel more vulnerable when our partners aren’t here no one to help us to get through our problems.My husband passed away 10 weeks ago only just starting to realise he is not coming back,it’s torture

Hope you have friends and family to help you


,I fell 1week ago got black eye I also john would say why are you up a ladder lay on the floor but nobody here went to bed feeling sorry. For myself lv annie

I hope you’re feeling better now. I know just how you felt. It’s so hard coping alone. Yes I have family, but you can’t keep ringing for help. Decision making is hard too. It was always a joint affair and I always bowed to his greater knowledge and sensibility. Now I’m worried ill make stupid or rash decisions - for even the slightest thing.

So hard and you still have to wait for the funeral, it was a month before my sister was cremated, that month was awful, its so early for you, take care my thoughts are with you and I’m sorry for your loss x

Hiya I took to the bottle after my husband passed away but I’m a year on can cope a bit better you take care annie x

Hiya my husband died 11th November 2020 even though he had stage 4 lung cancer had to have post-mortem got the results Xmas eve devastating it was graphic how much his brain weighed I was devastated I felt numb annie x

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It’s so awful, my sister died in July age 43, she had womb cancer, they told her in Sept it was the best type and be atleast 5 years before it would spread, she started to become ill in March, they treated her for infections, never checked the cancer, she was so ill with pain and vomiting and they just kept saying it was an infection, she bled to death internally July the 3rd, we fought for post mortem as they said no to find out she was riddled with cancer, it had spread everywhere, she was so badly failed by the 3 hospitals, and my Dad is terminal with lung cancer but he is hold on, life really suck to be honest, but we are not alone, this page proves that x


So sorry for your loss stay strong lv annie x x

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So very sorry annie x

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