Thought I was having a brave week, now crying into my porridge - the words are beautiful. My grief still seems so raw (7 weeks since my husband died) my biggest trigger seems to be song lyrics, not people or places.
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So sorry for your loss 
I lost my Andrew, 4 months ago & I find everything a trigger at the moment, song lyrics, his favourite food, his favourite clothes, books he has read, places all because I know he will never have any of it again, we will never share anything again. It’s a nightmare, I went to group counselling which I didn’t really helpful but it was good to be with people who understand your crazy.
I am hoping for talking therapy, I am finding that the regrets of things done, not done, said, not said are my greatest triggers, I need to talk to someone so I can sort them out in my head as there is nothing I can do about it all now 
I really hope you can find some solace here, I know it helps me to just say it on here because everyone in here understands my crazy too.
Sending love 
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Thank you for responding - what I keep saying to myself is - imagine the situation was reversed and that we had died and not our partners and we were looking down on them to see how they were coping. We were loved, how would we feel to see them distraught and tormented by grief over their loss - personally I could not bear it, I would be willing him on to enjoy life as best he could - if I hurt, he hurts. It is far from easy, but this is comforting me and I keep saying look at me, I am doing this for you, aren’t you proud of me.
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He would definitely be telling me off, he wanted to live so much & here I am not living my life. I know it’s early days & I have a long way to go. I cannot imagine how I can be anything than I am now, sad, empty & overwhelmed with the constant stream of tears. One minute at I time I guess & each minute is a victory I guess.
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Yes, we know what we are doing to ourselves and somehow we have got to try and move on. I am still in a state of disbelief, it happened so fast and no treatment, my world has gone.
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Lovely poem 
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The lyrics are heartfelt and amazing, a tribute to a loved one. Love never ends, they are looking down on us and wishing us well. If they could take our hurt away they would. I was blessed to have my husband in my life, I know he loved me with all his heart and me him. I can’t wish him back but I wish him peace and love. It’s only been 5 weeks feels much longer. Thinking of us all tonight, take care x
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