Where to start?
At the beginning of November, we lost my mother in law and my mum, both on the same day…just three months before that, we lost my dad. So much has happened, in such a short time, that it’s hard to know really what to say but I thought I’d come on here to see if there are any words of wisdom or, more pointedly, if there’s anywhere to turn for help…
Dad died relatively suddenly, although he had some issues for a while. He died, aged 85, in A&E after his colon burst (complications from a major op some 5 years before). I was holding his hand when he went and I have some comfort from that. I was very close to him and saw him most days (he and mum lived about 300 yds from us). I loved him and miss him very much.
Mother in law was in a care home for 12 months, she’s been deteriorating for a while in that 12 month period, both physically (she was off her feet for all of that time) and latterly mentally. But she’d been living by herself prior to that for 8-9 years. She died with my wife with her, in her sleep, having deteriorated slowly in her last days. She lived around the corner too, about 300 yds in the other direction! We’re a very close, but small, family. Once in the care home, she was still only a mile away.
My mum passed away later the same day. She hadn’t been well since dad died three months earlier and had refused consistently to see a doctor. She’d had quite bad diarrhoea - eventually she saw a doctor, had an emergency admission to hospital and finally a Stage 4 cancer diagnosis (colon and lungs) - she died 4 weeks to the day after the diagnosis, having been admitted to another local care home for respite care. I wasn’t with her at the end - I walked into the room as she passed away. Yes, she was very ill, but everyone expected her to last a few more weeks so this came unbelievably quickly.
I am the co-owner of a business too, and whilst I was lucky enough to be able to take 4 weeks off work after the latest losses, I’m still struggling. My family are a mazing - my wife has lost her mum don’t forget so she has her own things to think about - we’ve supported each other as best we can but that’s been hard with our losses and all the “stuff” that needs to be done overlapping.
Stress is affecting me in a very specific way - yes, I’m upset and yes I keep thinking about what’s gone on, but it’s not really that.
I keep getting angry - at what seems like probably small thing, but all relating to work. I’m ok, I think, with my wife and family, but I think work is turning into some sort of vent for the way I’m feeling.
I know I’m making rash decisions (I want to sell the business just to get away) and losing my rag with my fellow directors and feeling “despair” at other peoples performance, their ability to do the job, etc - I’m at best “over-critical” but i imagine everyone thinks I’ve gone nuts…which is how I feel too
I feel a bit petty trying to explain - but I know I’m “not right”
Any thoughts on where to go, what to do, who to speak to all gratefully received