Hello Tina
How are you? I hope things have improved for you? Don’t underestimate the part you played in getting me to this point. With everything you have been through yourself, yet still finding time to support others is in itself awesome. You were there for me in dark times and that was a blessing.
You are stronger than you think. We all have to learn when we need to be strong for ourselves. Your husband was a lucky man to have had you in his life and he will be urging you on to find your happiness again and you will and if I can help just shout out.
Love
Lyn x
I love that poem. It’s so powerful it nearly wiped me out. Thanks for sharing.
It is powerful isn’t it?. Whenever I go to the cemetery now I always look at the dash and not the date of birth or date of death and imagine the fullness of life that person had because that is what matters. The end then becomes irrelevant. It tweaks our view so that we look beyond what society deems we ‘should’ see and think about at the end of life. The dash also represents to me the here and now the being in the moment and that we are not defined by either a beginning or an end…
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Thanks Lyn xx
This is my first response. I first started reading posts a few weeks after my husbands sudden death last March. I found it hard to read how difficult it was for many who like me were dealing with the loss of their loved one. The thought that this could be my reality for years made me focus on being very active and it has helped. I have come to realise we all deal with it in our own way. We have been given a life don’t want, but its a life we need to live as fully as we can. So I took on that challenge. Its not easy, I have so many wobbles, very heightened emotions at the ‘1st times’. I took time away from site but returned as I am now approaching the first anniversary and I now see people travelling a similar path and approach. I am approaching the most difficult time now, have had to seek counselling to help me, I know it will. I think you are so right Lyn, I think there is a point we allow healing and to be kind to ourselves during this time of adjusting to our new life.
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SAN, Welcome, you will feel comforted and will gain courage from interacting on this site. We cannot make the pain go away but there is comfort in knowing you are not alone and that you do not need to pretend. X
Hi San
Firstly so sorry for your loss. That’s the most vital part of grieving, acknowledging the loss in all it’s detail and what it means to the individual person.
I have just had the ‘first anniversary’ a word that I now believe is not helpful. It is no different to the other 365 days without our loved one. There is so much pressure to bench mark how we are doing in life, whether that be in how others are coping or dates in a diary. It’s irrelevant. I feel and it’s only my opinion that there needs to be less focus on grief and more on healing. Healing leads to acceptance, love and gratitude. Grief holds us back. It is very much a conscious choice to let it go.
Taking on being active is a positive step and that shows how strong you are.
Wobbles are normal and that’s the moment to take time to reflect and see how far we have come.
I hope the counselling helps and again another step towards healing. All you are doing is great and you will learn so much about yourself and be in a better position to cope with your emotions. You have survived, you will survive and you will get back on track to living your life which is exactly what your husband would want you to do
Keep going x
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