Too Sad

I lost Ned suddenly in Oct 18. It makes me cry to write that… He was 20 we were very close and I miss him so much. My life is just too empty especially at the moment!! I live alone and just recently I’ve gone right downhill, I suppose there are less distractions but all I seem to be doing is remembering him and missing him.
He was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at 6 weeks I was always so afraid he would get ill and die. Luckily he was fortunate with that awful disease and he was rarely ill with it, only 2 hosp. addmissions for it. He was so brave too he would not let the condition stop him from anything. My little wild child… So friendly and sociable he made friends wherever he went.
He went to Uni in Leeds Sept '16 to study photography. We kept in touch and he came home in the holidays.
I knew he took recreational drugs as did ALL his friends. We talked about the dangers… he was even honest with his CF team at hosp. but we could not ban him
Anyway Oct 3 '18 at about 6 in the evening a policeman knocked on my door. Ned had been found dead in his room in Leeds, an accidental overdose.

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Hi I lost my son on 29 July 2019.didnt realise how hard it would be to type that…I’ve coped well but this week I feel like it happened yesterday. Feel like I’m losing the plot. Feel like I’m only thinking negative thoughts. I’ve been in bed for 5 not someone who says how I feel. Is this normal.billy was found in bed dead,with an concoction to make him sleep.

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No words are good enough to say how sorry I am for you both, I honestly can’t think how you must feel. We have two sons, both went to uni but only one experimented with drugs and he finished up coming home to ‘dry out’ . Personally I was very greatful to be able to help but devastated at his condition. That now seems a lifetime ago and yes it really is and I know how lucky he is to be still here. I don’t think they know what any drug can do whether it’s for sleeping or what they call recreational. Grieving is hard and horrible and there is no set pattern, somedays we can feel responsible others like rubbish and that’s putting it politely. At the present time I think we are all feeling it more because of the situation and number of lives lost plus being cut off from the outside world, there’s no easy answer and dealing with each day takes willpower. Try and find that willpower to get through tomorrow and the next day because the sun will shine again and you will feel better. Please take care of yourselves. Blessings to you both.S


I’m so very sorry to read your posts, both reflecting my own terrible loss.
My younger son Henry took recreational drugs alongside prescribed medication- he died 15 days after his 30th birthday. I know so well the pain, disbelief, the shock…none of it really changes :cry: I had to write a statement for the coroner yesterday as the inquest is next month. I’d been putting it off because I knew how agonising it would be and so it was.
I try hard to focus on other things and allow Henry short bursts of time so I cope fairly well although some days are still unbearable.
I’m sending you both love and peace.

Hi, having to write a statement, I just can’t imagine how you coped and yes I think you are very strong. The idea of only letting your thoughts rest on your son Henry at certain times shows just how strong you are and brave and when it works you have some peace of mind. All three of you show us how to keep going and what others have to deal with, you are all fantastic people. The price we pay for love is a high price with this amount of sadness and sorrow. It’s really nice to know that you can support each other even just in words and thoughts, I look up to you three to show the way to deal with grief and bereavement. Take care and remember to be kind to yourself. Blessings to you all. S

Thanks for your understanding x