Yesterday I joined a walking group. Went with my friend,the walk was lovely,people very welcoming but I got a bit bored! The pace was very slow,we kept stopping and I thought if I had my ‘real’ life would I be here. No,I wouldnt. I think I am pushing things,I want some kind of normality,a new best friend a future but it takes time. I am starting things in the house and garden,moving on before finishing . My Husband would have a fit! I am not patient anyway but now I am worse. So,I will try to think and slow down,let myself breathe and calm down,one day at a time! Please ,may the peace come.
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Dear Woody
I think we have to try, we go once if we don’t like it we don’t have to go back. My husband and I did everything together, going anywhere alone feels wrong. My concentration levels are also poor, I used to love to read but now I just don’t seem to be able too.
Doing things around the house alone feels impossible. My husband could turn his hand to anything. I’ve had to do jobs I would never have done before but with the help of YouTube I’ve done them. Not without tears and constantly telling my husband I’m doing my best.
We plod on, finding a new life we never wanted. The next thing you try might be a perfect fit for you, if we don’t go we’ll never know x
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Hi Helen. Yes,your right we have to keep plodding on and trying things. Its just that after years of being so comfortable and not trying to be happy,it just being an every day ordinary thing,that I just did. I now find myself in a place that takes a lot of effort. From one day to the next everything single thing changes,its shocking. Everything you knew and had is gone including people. My sister,who I was very close to, has really shocked me and I feel like I have lost her too. She said I didnt invite her to the funeral!!!
So,excuse my moan,feeling a bit sorry for myself the last couple of days. Thank you for listening, I feel youre living you new life with dignity.
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Dear Woody
That’s why we are all here in this group none of us wanted to join. We moan, we cry and we ask for help and advice. Some days are bad some terrible and some a little more positive.
My husband and I met when I was 14 and he 16, we were together over 50 years then one day he just fell to the floor and was gone. We had not long bought our dream home which we were renovating. It was not finished so with help I’ve got it done and it’s now on the market.
I know what you mean. After years of looking after my parents we were going to have our time, holidays, meals out without looking at my phone and finishing the house. It all went in a moment.
We could have years ahead of us, I know it’s a scary thought. I’m trying to plan for a future I don’t want. You’ll see some of my posts on here if you look back through previous post, I’m scared and I miss those normal times with my wonderful husband.
There are some amazing people in this group with lots of brilliant advice and support. Please keep posting, there is always someone here who will be along to help x
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I can absolutely relate, it sounds a bit like me typing there!
I’m not the most patient of people (thank you Dad for passing that trait down lol!). People keep telling me to take my time, be easy on myself, do self care, but I just want a bit of normality and a future to look forward to ….and dare I say it …. people that can make me laugh.
Not many people may agree, but I find laughter really healing, it breaks the logjam of the grieving process. Sometimes that can be a good break and a cathartic release in itself - better than a spa trip that everyone seems to automatically suggest I take.