Yesterday was the 3rd Christmas on my own. In previous years I seemed to be coping and just got through the day. But yesterday was brutal I could not stop crying I even called the Samaritans for someone to talk to. I do not know why this year has hit me so hard I am having serious problems where I live and this is when you miss your mum and dad that safe place to go when you need help. I have not eaten in 4 days and I have not slept. I thought I was getting better at coping with the loss mentally and physically I am not. I am so relieved it is now over December is always a bad month for me this year has been the worst take care everyone Kate xxx
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Hi Kate
I’m so sorry for your loss, I think this truly is the worst time of year.
I had my first Christmas without my Dad yesterday and completely lost it. I was like a pressure cooker all week ready to blow.
However, I’m here to tell the tale and you also made it through. You used coping strategies and you did it. Of that you should be proud. 
x
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Thank you Vicky 1974 for your kind response I am so sorry about your dad. The First Christmas is the worst it feels like the longest day and is never going to end. That is what yesterday felt like you think you are ok then boom you can’t stop crying again Take care Kate xx
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Grieve is a personal thing, it changes you I think. Maybe this is the new you ? you don’t have to like it, but it is you and your life. I snapped at someone yesterday on FB as I had enough of the fairness of Christmas like I care what other people are doing. It wasn’t my Christmas, I just got tearful over the film Mrs Doubtfire. I’m still alive so I guess I survived Christmas too.
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I didn’t celebrate yesterday i watched films and cried on and off all day. Today I went for a walk whilst buffet food was served so I changed the tradition
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I didn’t celebrate yesterday i watched films and cried on and off all day. Today I went for a walk whilst buffet food was served so I changed the tradition to help me feel better
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Hi @kate88,
It was my first Christmas without my parents too. Mum died 5 months ago. Dad has been gone over a decade. It’s hard & painful everyday but this is the price we pay for having been blessed with parents who adored us & vice-versa. Christmas is such a tough time when you’re bereaved.
On the matter of your housing issues can you talk to the citizens advice bureau?
It’s really important for you to feel safe & secure in your own home.
Please try to eat a bit, just enough to sustain your body. I know it’s hard when you don’t feel well to do this but it is really important.
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Hi Kate,
So sorry to hear you have had a tough Christmas 
On special occasions I don’t think it matters how many years have passed it still hurts! Also I think other issues are more stressful nowadays without parental advice. Anna’s idea about the CA is a good one.
Well done for speaking to the Samaritans, it’s a brilliant organisation.
Maybe worth speaking to your GP and looking for some bereavement counselling?
Hope you have managed some sleep and eaten.
Take care and keep posting
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Thank you all for your kind words of support I have made contact with my local MP, contacted the Cab and I have made a doctor’s appointment. Still can’t sleep and I still have no appetite the couple who live next door have been so kind and they calmed me down. And they are helping with my housing conditions take care everyone Kate xxx
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