Totally gutted

Hi I’ve just found out last week my mum has terminal cancer.She had breast cancer a couple off years ago,and had a breast removed.I never thought it would return but it has in the linning off her lungs.We had a falling out over xmas and with shame I can say we didn’t speak till now.She messaged my sixteen year old daughter and told her about her cancer coming back but didn’t want me to know. I spoke to her on phone yesterday and she told me I need to come to terms that shes not gonna be around for long.Idid what I didn’t want to do for her sake and broke down crying .She is starting chemo tablets today ,due to them been delayed because off the cold 19 .I just dont know how to deal with this and how to keep strong for her when all I seem to do is cry when I’m speaking to my family .I always thought she would be around to be a old lady,shes sixty four and she is also got my half sister who’s only twenty five.I feel so bad for my sister who will miss out on not having her there for when she has a first child ect.Ive messaged my sister to tell he I’m always here, and I’m feeling like her too,but after me and my mums falling out it looks like she doesn’t want to know.x

Hi Lisa. Welcome. Please don’t feel bad and blame yourself for any misunderstandings in the family. There is no family on earth that has not had its falling outs. But do try and make amends with them all. If your advances are rejected then at least you have tried. Love is still there but so often covered by resentment and anger. It’s OK to cry and I’m sure your mum knows that. It is not a sign of weakness, not at all, but of a deep feeling that is bound to happen in such circumstances.
Keep coming here no matter what happens. You need support and you will find it here. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself.

Thankyou Jonathan, I’m glad I’ve found this group as I feel I’m been a burden to my partner and children.Im going to message my sister again because I’ve learnt from this ,that’s it not worth having grievances with family.