Totally lost

I am 78 years old, I’ve lost my wife and soulmate a month ago to cancer after a long and painful battle. I visit her grave everyday and talk to her and cry. I have no idea how to move forward from this position. I have no friends in the area and know nobody locally.


Hello @Hildasboy, thank you for sharing with us. I am glad you have found our community and I hope it will be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your soulmate that brings you here.

Many of our members have experienced the loss of a partner and will understand some of what you’re going through. We have a Losing a partner category which has lots of threads from people who have been there too.

I am sorry to hear that you have no friends locally. Your loss is still so recent and raw, so you may not feel quite ready to do this, but there are often local bereavement support groups that you can join. If your wife was receiving hospice care, they may be able to help connect you. You can also put your location into the AtALoss website and it will list what local support is available. You can find that page here:

You may also find the following Sue Ryder resources helpful:

  • Our Bereavement information pages

  • Our Online Bereavement Support, which includes our free online bereavement counselling which is held via video chat, our Grief Guide which has interactive tools to help you cope with grief, and Grief Coach, where you can receive personalised support via text

The community is here for you too - you are not alone.

Take good care,