On April 6th last year my daughter ended her life without no warning …aged 26 I found her and her dad tryed to bring her back to life …she had been at mine dropped the baby to me went home and done this terrible thing
I’m still waiting for grief counciling 18 months later .I watch that day in my mind daily over and over …drs said I’ve complexed PTSD .but over last month been so low …I just don’t know why …cathy
Dear @Catherine1412, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter, that is devastating. Thank you for bravely starting this thread and reaching out. We have members who have lost loved ones by suicide and will understand some of what you are going through.
You say you are feeling low and lost. I hope counselling is helpful for you, but with a long wait in the meantime, I wanted to share some places that you can get further support from.
And remember that any time you are feeling low and need a listening ear, the Samaritans are always there on 116 123.
I hope you find the community to be a support, too - you are not alone.
Take care
Seaneen
Hi Cathy, I’m a Kathy too (Esperanza is my user name, Spanish for hope). So sorry to hear about your daughter, I lost my daughter to suicide, totally unexpected, 5 years ago last Christmas and like you was told I had PTSD. For the first few months I was just numb but then reality hit and I went to pieces, exhaustion, panic attacks etc, not wanting to be anywhere but not wanting to be dead either. It was horrendous. I still have bad days but mostly now I’ve learnt to live alongside the grief, with this new ‘normal’, and I know the bad days will pass. Be patient with yourself and take life slowly, an hour at a time if needs be. You will never get over it, as some kind souls have suggested to me, but you will learn to live with the loss and eventually looking back you’ll see you’ve come a long way. I don’t often come on the forum now, so sorry for the delay in seeing your post, but will look out now in case you want a chat. My heart goes out to you, big hug 
Kathy
I know this is kind of different but I lost my son and I cannot stop picturing his coffin it haunts me day and night. When I sleep I wake up screaming I see the same image day in day out I see it in my dreams constantly.
I really dobt know how to xome back from this it’s been 3.5 years and I still feel the same. If you find anyway to cope please share I’m open to anything . I’m.so.sorry for your loss if I had a heart left it would certainly break for you. X
Hi Stephen, I see Seaneen has replied to your other post with some very good suggestions. Talking to others who’d lost children to suicide helped me enormously. Somehow knowing my circumstances weren’t unique, and that there are others out there who do totally get it, helped a bit. I hope it will be the same for you. Friends and family try to be supportive and say the right thing but unless you’ve actually been there you can’t properly understand how it takes over your life. There are some lovely people on here who helped me in my darkest days so do keep posting, someone usually replies. Sending you a big hug, Kathy
Hi strugglingdad - I think reliving, particularly the most upsetting aspects of losing your son or daughter is devastatingly painful but not unusual. I lost my daughter in tragic circumstances in January. Early days but I keep seeing her lying on the floor dead and feeling those same feelings that I felt then.
Coming on here, for me, was a light in the terrible darkness. Just knowing that others have similiar feelings has helped me. I hope you keep posting cos it helps to share with others who ‘get it’
I also got very good help and support from Compassionate Friends and it gave me the chance to meet other people in the same boat. Sadly lots of acquaintances and even friends just can’t understand the literally heart breaking pain bereaved parents feel.
I wish you all the very best in your journey. I’m a ‘newbie’ here but there are parents who lost their child many years ago and from them I have learned that slowly, slowly we don’t get over it, but we can learn to live with it. Better to share and support each other than struggle on alone. It’s a lifetimes journey but life can improve and there are chinks of light on the road. I send you my respect and all kindness. Xxx