How are we coping over the Easter Holiday alone ? I have been working, but wanted Easter Sunday off. Life feels like I’m trapped now, even more so then when mum was alive. I miss mum but know mum’s in a better place. I kinda wished I was with her as I 100 percent sure there has to be a better life then this ? I’m even trapped working and paying bills or trapped on my own. It’s hard to be happy today, it’s not just mum but everything else I grew up with. The new world has swallowed everything that made us happy and continues to do so. It’s almost feels like I was born on a different planet, a alternative time period. It just feels like a distant happy memory long gone. It’s like being in a garden with beautiful flowers and now that same garden is covered in weeds. I do think of a heaven where mum is happy with her mum and surrounded by love and her mum. But I’m not really surrounded by anything only distant memories
Hi @Keith68
I hear you, my mom passed 3 years this April, & everything has changed so much, I don’t recognise myself or my life anymore, I don’t know who I am. I miss days gone by when things felt happier, safer, I miss mom being there to tell me it’s going to be ok & give me a hug. Your not alone, sending hugs of support
I hear you too. The world is so much harder and colder and everything spins faster and faster. I don’t feel at home here and without my dad it’s like I’m trapped alone in a horrible place. No idea what to do about it or indeed how to cope, but I understand. Hugs!
It never stops does it ? you can go to work but you do need a down time. But being in your own with down time isn’t good either. Then trying to find someone to be there for you will probably fail too, as you will always crave what you loss. It’s such a sad, depressing existance. A empty world, a empty life, a empty existence.
I have been on here a lot, all weekend Keith 68. I know how you feel. missing my parents so much living in this horrible world. the world is becoming so cold and mean.
@Keith68 , I feel the same way, working but not working, living but not living. The reality after mom gone is bad, staying with people I don’t like, being a literal servant to take care of those people after work and works not good either. People say take therapy things will get better but I didn’t see any change in fact just wasted my money and now those things trouble me as well. Just don’t see a way out.
Yes, I hope it helps a little coming here ? we all living with loss. Besides work, I don’t talk to a lot of people. When you do, I don’t feel they know what I’m going through. Some friends are friends and then they not. I tend to pull away in that scenario and not reach out to them.
I think we pull away sometimes to protect ourselves as no one can truly understand just how difficult, sad and lonely we feel without our loved ones. our reality is now soo different. It feels very unsafe without them. Sending you love.
Sadly I know the feeling, a year ago, there was an incident, my dad now lives with his girlfriend, meaning when I’m at the house, I’m alone. April last year, I’d just gone to bed, when I felt faint, & started seeing coloured dots before my eyes, I was scared, I felt like I was going to pass out, & being alone in the house, & not knowing what was wrong, I called 111, they called an ambulance, the medics checked me over, & found I had an irregular heartbeat, they took me to the emergency department, I spent the night in hospital. The next day they said I was well enough to go, but I’m always scared being alone in the house, I hate it.
The only thing I can suggest is make a plan, if there are people you can call in an emergency if needed, friends, family, a neighbour, anyone at all, write them down, & make sure they’re in your phone, it’s not great, but it can be reassuring to at least have a plan.
For me, it’s about feeling abandoned by my Mum , the only person whom I could trust implicitly. It’s brought into sharp focus all the other areas/scenarios where I feel I have been “abandoned “ one way or another. I’m not blaming my Mum for dying it’s just the realisation that she has actually gone that makes me feel abandoned I think. I’m now on my own. That’s hard to get my head around at times. I know I will as there is no alternative but it’s hard for me right now but I have her DNA and I will survive this. I will be changed, that’s for sure but in her memory I WILL get a handle on this!
A plan is a good idea in principle but for me quite difficult as neither of my 2 children cannot be depended to even pick up the phone!! I dont know why they are unable to be of any help to me right now, their excuse is that they need to look after their own families! Thats funny as I thought being their Mum made me part of their “family “ but their actions since my Mum died for example leaving me on my own Christmas Day (the anniversary of my Dads death) 10 weeks after my Mum died and also the same on the first Mothers Day (16 weeks after Mum died). They were both off doing their own thing with their families! Haven’t even had a phone call from either of them
In weeks. Their loss. Sadly they don’t t realise this. Makes me weep and has compounded my grieving process.
Hi @lulujones33
My heart goes out to you. How can they be so cruel, I get that life gets in the way sometimes, but seriously, it only takes 2 minutes to call, or at least text to say “Hi, how are you?”, & to not even invite you Christmas day, shame on them, that is just unexceptable.
Part of my plan is always keep the phone within reaching distance, but I guess it’s not much use if there’s no-one to call.
The only thing I can suggest is looking for social groups to make new friends, my local branch of the charity Mind run social activity group to prevent isolation, maybe see what is about in your area, or what other support is available to you. Remember, strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet. Sending hugs of support.
Thank you. I’m trying to make contacts but here in Suffolk the demand for help is so overloaded. I contacted the counselling department of the local Hospice 15 weeks ago but have heard nothing back. The problem was my Mum died of Lung cancer in Glasgow so she was not “plugged into” the Hospice here. I think that’s contributing to the delay. We don’t have a Cruse branch here anymore but I will try to find out if we have a Mind group. What “help” I got from my GP was a prescription for anti depressants and a business card for something called Suffolk Wellbeing a self referral service which so far have been absolute useless! When I told my GP this her reply was “well that’s all I can offer”. Not helpful. X
social safety nets are important because life events do happen and there has to be something that is coming to the rescue, as relying on individuals is haphazard. systems paid for by taxes, by us, for us.
shame on them, that is just unexceptable.