Hello
First post for me, I’m struggling to deal with the trauma of the last few weeks of my husbands life as he was so ill. I keep re living all the awful stuff that happened due to the hell that is cancer
Also I haven’t sorted through any of his stuff yet, he died in May
Can anyone relate to this
Thanks
Xxxxx
Sorry to hear about your husband, there are plenty of us here who are going through the same. I lost my wife last September and I still cannot go through her things. I know I will sometime, but for now, it all stays where it is. I kind of feel she is still around if her things are here.
Just remember one thing that I was told - there is no normal, so don’t try and be normal. be yourself.
Thank you. It does give me comfort having his things around me xx
I can’t bear to get rid of my husband’s things either, not even his toothbrush five months later. I keep wearing his shirts and/or fleece hoodies when I’m at home. I have put older, happy photos into the photo frames and onto my phone to try and remember happier times.
Hi @Cheebee
I am sorry for your loss , it is coming up to 11 months since my husband died suddenly cardiac arrest.
Every one is different and there is no write or wrong way in grief . Do things when you are ready to do them and what is right for you .
I have kept one special T-shirt, the rest have been given to charity. There are plenty of other things to sort out yet . I go to his wardrobe open the door see if I can move the stuff in there. If I am not up to it . I shut the door till I am ready to do it .
You will know when the time is right for you . Take Care
Hi Cheebee I am sorry to hear about your husband. My wife died on Christmas day after two years of cancer treatments. The first two or three months were the most difficult though now past seven, the pain has converted into longing and emptiness. I hope you find some solace here where everyone understands the pain of a bereavement. Wishing you all the strength you will need
All the best Tom
I lost my husband in June this year after trauma. Its so difficult. I have had to manage pension etc and dealing with all the decisions yourself is hard on top of all your grief
However I will say I done a little daily and I found most companies including bank have a dedicated breavment line which so far been very supportive and understanding. Even when im struggling with emotions. So maybe start with a list and do things gradually but take time out also .
Your not alone , people are there to support and help
Take care of yourself x
Hi Cheebee
I lost my husband in May too after 13 months of treatment for bowel cancer. The whole experience was traumatic and he died in the hospice unexpectedly. He went in for their help with pain relief and never came home.
I too am struggling, I’ve almost sorted out the estate stuff (much of it with brain fog) but I am still dealing with pension issues and closing down our business because it can’t function without him. I hate having to make decisions without him, worry that the ones I am making are the wrong ones and I just want him back.
I simultaneously feel comfortable at home but then stress that I won’t ever again see him in the house we chose together or be able to do all things we enjoyed together. I simply cannot imagine my life without him in it……
Hi and sorry for your loss, your grief is still very early. I’m ten months in and I still have all my partner’s clothes, his shaving kit is still in the bathroom. I’ve no plans to remove it. I’ve been going through paperwork and trying to shred some of it. It’s hard as I feel I’m deleting his life. I know I’ll have to sort things eventually but just not now. I really haven’t accepted that I’m on my own now. I struggle with his loss. Take care
Thank you for sharing. I felt it more painful to keep seeing his things. But I know what you mean about feeling like your deleting him
I’ve still got his slippers near our bed and and his coat hanging up. If it gives us comfort than I don’t see that a problem baby steps. X
Hi Cheebee. I am exactly the same. My partner Theresa passed away in March, I was with her in the hospital, I still have that in my mind, and I still have all her clothes and other things to sort out. I will eventually donate her belongings to charity as I am still winding up her estate. It is a very traumatic process dealing with bereavement teams and everything else that comes with a loved one passing. You are not alone on this horrible journey. Take care.
It’s so painful it’s awful. Hopefully find comfort there still with is in a other way. But I appreciate feeling that is difficult too x