Hi my husband died at the end of December of Motor Neuron Disease. The last 6 months of his life were so traumatic as he couldn’t speak, move, eat, drink and was on a ventilator. I was told 9 times he was going to die until he finally did. I can’t believe he’s gone and feel I have nothing left as he was my world. The question I have is that since he passed I have been away on holiday 3 times and have booked to go again in 5 weeks - is this normal? I know I am running away from everything and whilst the holidays were ok, I only really enjoyed one as I found the others to be a very lonely experience as I didn’t really talk to anyone. Am I just prolonging this sense of disbelief by escaping. I knew he was going to die but didn’t think it would be so soon after diagnosis- he was only 55. Has anyone else done anything similar?
Hey Magpie, I havent experienced what you’re going through, but, I dont think going on holiday is running away. You’re keeping yourself busy, doing something you enjoy, even if you’re doing it alone.
Grief manifests itself in many ways and there are many ways to cope. We do what we can to get through the storm that is grief. I think you should keep travelling and keep living, your hisband would have wanted thay x
Hi @Magpie19
I have been away twice since my husband died. The first time to stay with my sister and now I’m just coming back from staying with my stepson.
Like you I sometimes think I’m running away. We still have to go back to our empty lonely homes.
I dont think going away is a bad thing, but honestly, it helps while I’m away and I’ve got people around all the time. But when I get back the pain and heartbreak are still there.
I just think maybe we should do whatever helps us to get through
Take care and enjoy your travels
Big hugs to you x
I think,as well we try and have something to focus on and think about i joined a spa and gym 4 weeks after my husband died i thought it would make everything a bit better it didn’t but it didn’t make it worse either everyone needs to do whatever it takes to keep living if thats what they call it I’m just existing
Thays exactly it @Debrat .
Existing. Floating, trying to stay above the grief. Sometimes managing, most times not.
We must all do what we need to get through.
Take care
Big hugs x
@Magpie19 i have too. My husband died in last September and I’ve been away a lot. With a friend on a cruise, to see my sister who lives in spain, and on my own too. In a weird way it helps because I just think he’s at home. Of course when I get back he’s not and that’s the hardest part. But you do what’s right for you, and it’s nobody’s business but yours.
I’m always out and about. I can’t keep still and need to be outside. I speak to everyone and keep in touch with friends and acquaintances, always have done. I can’t imagine being indoors all the time and not having that interaction.
My husband died suddenly on the 15th April, I had lots of breaks booked for us, the first one in May I cancelled as it was a shepherds hut in the country, we had been there before and I thought it would be too Painful , I have just come back from Jersey with my son, my husband and I booked it because it was somewhere we had never been, now I enjoyed it , but at the same time found parts difficult because I knew my husband would of loved it, and I also didn’t want my Son to feel a substitute! July we booked the Hampton Court flower show we had been there before and my son once again will come with me , I want to go as I know how much I enjoyed it , but it’s going to be difficult returning to the hotel we stayed at etc , but he even bought my outfit to wear there and I kind of feel I owe it to him to go , but I know I will miss him dreadfully