Some firsts such as paperwork and a decision my husband would have dealt with.
Going to the see the nurse by myself. He would have driven us down to the surgery, waited and then we would have gone on somewhere for tea.
I had to saw a small branch, he would have done it and he would have been quicker and better.
As for triggers, I met somebody outside the surgery who had not heard about my husband. So that was difficult.
Today, I decided to have scrambled eggs, which he really, really liked.
I could see his reaction in the past when I suggested it for breakfast.
That was very emotional for me.
As I cooked I thought of how he liked cooking. Also how I had, over the past few years, passed on to him how I cooked things, in case I went first.
Some firsts and triggers can be anticipated but others can take you totally by surprise and be absolutely devastating.
I don’t think I will be scrambling eggs for quite a while!
I somehow dropped most of the bacon on the floor and I feel quite nauseous now.
Anyway, all that has happened and more will come along.
@RoseGarden i could have written your post, my husband loved scrambled eggs and it was the last thing I cooked for him, he hadn’t been eating but he woke up at half two in the morning and said he was hungry and could he have scrambled eggs, he didn’t have to ask twice. I can’t face eggs at all now. Sending you love and hugs.
Oh my, you summed up what most of us feel I think , certainly how I feel.
My children have gone back to school so this is the first time I’m actually alone.
My husband worked from home, we would often pop out for lunch or a coffee or even walk the dog.He bought a coffee machine, 11 would be our ‘coffee o’clock’ time in between our work.
I made a coffee shortly after he died, and sobbed my way through it!
Haven’t had the stomach for one since .
Here’s hoping some of the triggers get less traumatic for us.
Sending love to you all xx
I used to do all the food shopping and meal planning for us but went today to get some shopping just for me and it was awful. Came home empty handed Just couldn’t see the point or decide what to have as I always liked to get what he fancied. Lots of tears
I had to start on line shopping because the first time I went shopping on my own I had to leave the supermarket as I was in tears. Like you I always looked for things he liked.
When I first went shopping after my husband died, I went to a small local shop that we didn’t really use.
It was still difficult but there were no memories.
A few weeks later, I went to a shop we used and of course that was far more difficult.
Seeing things he liked and having to do everything at the till by myself. We had a regular routine, our own roles, I had to do it all. It is so much slower now it is just me.
Thinking about it I now use shops we never used together.
