What do you find triggers emotions after death of spouse or a partner?
I was listening to someone’s life story and he suddenly went into great detail how he had lost her because of no treatment in the pandemic.
It triggered all the things that were not fair with my husband also had no treatment. In the pandemic so he died soon after as well. It was longer ago for him than me but I then could not stop thinking about my husband and all the others died too. I left. I didn’t want to go out to move on and be triggered because that makes it harder than it already is to go out at all. Then every could and sniffle was magnified and wanted to escape even more yet it lasted a whole hour.
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@Enorac The triggers vary and often come out of the blue. It can simply be someone who makes that eye contact when they are expressing their sorrow for my loss, one that says they get it, it can be a conversation totally unrelated and someone describes an event that I went through with my wife and bingo it hits. I know that a line of beautiful trees up from my home will start to blossom soon and that will trigger me because my wife loved it and always commented on it. I think in some way it’s less about the triggers and more the emotional pain we carry day in day out - it’s thin skinned and ready to burst - that’s not a criticism more a reflection of how that love for an individual cannot switch off and in their absence converts into a different type of energy I think. Kevin
KMCG
Thank you for your response.
Yesterday triggered at my late husband’s friend’s funeral in same place as it was held 17 months later.
This time I was completely with it noticing everyone else because at my husband’s funeral I missed that part properly which is a regret
So was able to make up for it.
Lots of same people there. Found it somewhat exhausting but took photos and wrote down address in shorthand.
A distraction because it felt strange on my own.
Although in my mind my late husband was with me because we had sat together so many times through the year’s at his other friend’s funerals.
It felt unfair he hadn’t had as long a life as this person and we had thought we would both be at this older man’s funeral together when1 died at 93 yet there was still an older man there who was 95 with all his senses there. How amazing. Secret to such longevity seems to be hard work and play. Both kept busy and slim even though smoked and liked a whisky but both with gentle personalities leading sucessful sporting and work lives keeping interested. Such an inspiration. I felt I had got a kick up the pants to knock myself out of my depression and get on with life. I felt my husband would be pleased if I carried on not that there is much choice.
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