I love autumn; it’s my favourite season. However, it also brings with it anniversaries, Birthdays, flashbacks, trauma, and, of course, Christmas. Which I have avoided for the past two years I watch horror movies and I cook myself a stew in my crockpot. I treat it like a normal day this will be my 3rd year alone . I do have former siblings been no contact for 2 years last time I saw them was at Mum’s funeral in January 2022 they do not care If I am alive or dead . They are bullies and toxic and they disgust me I call them the bitches of Eastwick. Going into a supermarket is very hard for me with Chrismas shoved down my throat Dad died just before Christmas 2021 makes me feel physically ill sorry for the long post I had a bad week take care everyone Kate xxx
Sending hugs, sounds like life hasn’t been kind to you. Keep posting and I hope things improve for you. Christmas I should be in hospital so I think Christmas won’t apply to me this year. It will feel weird and strange at the same time. I will be alone though!
There’s some kind of societal pressure to make Christmas into something big, but I try to resist it. The commercial aspect is more for children, I feel. Christmas when I was a child, and my grandparents came over, was magical 
. We used to have advent calendars with a simple nativity scene in them. They were lovely. I’m not thinking too much about Christmas.
Alot of the adverts feel alien, we copy the USA now like they do with Thanks Giving. That’s not the world we live in. There’s that classic film Planes, Trains and Automobiles. A funny film with Steve Martin and John Candy. John Candy hasn’t got a family in the end Steve Martin brings him to his home to celebrate Christmas. Never forgotten that touching moment. But we don’t live in that fantasy world. Even the thought I’m hating the prospect of it. But it’s just about the money now.
I feel the same my lovely mum died last November so this time of year im finding rough!
The flash backs and feelings of the enormous loss is dragging me down
I completely get it. Im sitting in Costa having a shortbread trying to treat myself make me feel better. Try to look after yourself, take care xx
Keith I hope you are ok?
Up n down, I’m trying in my mission with the hospital. Thank you for asking Cadbury. Cafes mum always liked her pot of tea and cake. Not done a cafe since April, just not the same on your own.
My mum never came to Costa with me, but I couldn’t go to the places she came with me. Unless im having a good day.
Do you work in hospital?
I can do if I’m with someone, but it always reminds me these days. Those memories will be with me forever!
Maybe we will be alone for Christmas, but I am still putting up a lighted tree and some decor. Still going to wrap presents. Still going to listen to Christmas music. Still going to church. Still going to enjoy the festive lights. Will likely roast a small turkey with all the fixings.
It is my favorite time of the year, a joyful celebration of the birth of Jesus. I won’t let the Grinch steal it. I refuse to give up everything I love in life. I’ve given up enough.
Well, that is how I feel ATM.
Much love.
Hi Kate, I am so sorry for your loss and for the problems with your siblings. I have a nasty side to my family which I am glad to not be a part of. My wife died suddenly five weeks ago and they took their opportunity to cause more trouble. I totally agree, it’s disgusting.
Autumn will forever be a bad time for me now with my wife dying in October then the start up to Christmas.
This Christmas will be my first Christmas alone and I have no idea what to do. It will be incredibly hard not having my wife here. She loved Christmas and always made a big thing of it.
I am dreading going out shopping and seeing all the Christmas stuff in the shops.
I just want to hide away until January.
No I was diagnosed with Myeloma Cancer back in June. I remember a lot of visits to various cafes through the times with mum. The first time I visited a cafe to kill time. I ordered something to eat and a coffee. I looked around and was on my own, then it all came flooding back and the tears rolled. I tried to stop in case I drew attention to myself. A elderly lady came over to me and think put her hand on my shoulder. I didn’t really want that but thanked her and I think I stopped.
@PeachesDixon i agree, even my first one without dave, i still did the tree, pressies, turkey etc, this will be my 3rd and everything is bought except turkey, and wrapped up. life goes on no matter how desvastating it has been for any of us, we either run with it or just sit there. i prefer the former even though healthwise i cant get about very much now, but i have refused to sit there moping for the last 30 months
I fully expect to be in hospital secluded in my own room over Christmas. I’m not even sure if I will be allowed to go out for a vape. So only contact I probably have is with the nurses. I been told my immune level will be 0. So I can’t really think about Christmas this year!
Keith, maybe before you go into the hospital, you could gather a bunch of Christmas movie DVDs and Christmas music CDs to play on your laptop? Surely there will be Christmas services on the hospital tv in your room. How about a tiny tree with lights? A nativity scene?
I wish you a quick and full recovery and that your hospital Christmas is not gloomy.
Hugs.
I’m not a fan of Christmas really, but saying that I did buy a turkey joint last year. I don’t think anything I would want for Christmas either. I am thinking about a TV but I not seen anything regarding Black Friday as of yet So far that seems really poor!
I feel exactly the same Dave4
My husband passed away in September this year
I always loved Christmas but really don’t feel like doing anything this year.
I don’t know I got news today that it’s going to be the 3rd and transplant will be the 5th. What I been told I will feel quite tired and not well. Can’t say I’m looking forward to it one bit and there’s no guarantee either. It’s not good!
Aww Keith thinking of you. Please keep posting on here and let us know how you get on. There is a lot of support for you here.
Thats sounds great, I’ll be alone again Christmas but i love it, so im going 2 enjoy the Christmas spirit put the music on, make a nice dinner, then settle down with the old films & some wine.
So cheers 2 everyone @ christmas. Enjoy
Dave i lost my husband 7 years ago 4th dec. But we both loved Christmas, so now i enjoy it even on my own.
So try & remember how much it meant 2 yr wife.