My 13 year old beautiful baby girl died of Sepsis after the flu just less than 6 months ago. She was my world. I had been a single mum with her for many years and we were so close. Now with my Husband and 4 year old I need to keep trying at life but im consumed with pain and guilt that I didnt stop it. (I have been told many times it was very rare and very fast). But nothing any Dr says takes away the shame of not seeing or stopping it. The agony of being without her doesnt seem to be getting better. Trying to do things with my 4 your old like go to the beach or cinema is so hard and painful. We are all missing her so much.
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Hi Eliza, I am so sorry to hear the pain you are going through. Have you tried having therapy to work through the feelings of guilt. I know you have no real reason to feel guilty as the love you had for your daughter was obviously boundless but our minds always like to pick up on anything to then beat ourselves up over it. My wife needed a lot of help to get over her mother’s death partly because she went to work and left her in hospital. Her mother died shortly after and it didn’t matter that the doctors had told us she was going to be moved to another hospital. Nobody thought she would die but my wife felt so bad about it. After going to a couple of therapists she found one that helped her and gave her some peace. I am sure your lovely daughter will be in heaven with my wife. Where there is no suffering or pain. I hope you find some peace soon and be able to enjoy life with your husband and daughter. Love is so precious and the only thing to live for. I’m sure your daughter will be sending you her love from heaven.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
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Hello @Eliza86,
I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your 13 year old girl that brings you here. It sounds like you’ve been through a devastating time.
I’m glad you’ve already had a kind reply from @Brandon1. I also wanted to share some sources of support that might help you right now.
You mentioned that you’re feeling guilt and shame for not being able to see or stop your daughter’s illness. This sounds incredibly painful for you alongside dealing with the heartbreak of losing her.
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Child Bereavement UK support families with the loss of a child. They also support bereaved children. You can call their helpline on 0800 02 888 40.
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The Compassionate Friends support families who have lost a child of any age. They have a grief companion scheme where you can get 1-1 support from another bereaved parent. You can call them on 0345 123 2304.
We also have some information on supporting children with grief in case it’s helpful.
Thank you again for sharing - please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Harriet
Thank you yes, Ive spoke to people and will continue to do so. Its just nice to be able to say it to someone whom it doesnt impact. Family and friends are trying but they are in their own grief and theres always a comparison. Thank you for your kind words and advice.
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