I am so very sorry for what you are all going through. Your circumstances are very reminiscent of what happened when my sister died of cancer 25 years ago. She left behind a husband aged 46 years, a son aged 17 and a daughter aged 15. It was so hard on our family, our mum had lost my dad when she was 50 years old and now she had lost her daughter.
My brother in law became a mum and dad to his children and they all supported each other. My brother in law died two years ago aged 69 and his children, now in their 40’s were devastated, they had lost the one person that kept the family together.
That is the only way forward, just be there for one another because that is the only way you are going to get through this. I lost my husband of 47 years three years ago and I will be honest, nothing will be the same again. When a loved one dies you lose the future you were supposed to have with them so it does not make any wonder why it takes so long to come to terms with it. You cannot get over it in a matter of months, you cannot love someone for 25 years and expect to stop grieving straight away, you will always grieve but the most important thing of all is to talk about your wife, never stop mentioning her name or remembering the happier years. Look at photos, play music, it will make you cry, of course it will, but I would rather cry for the person I loved for most of my life than not. They deserve for you to grieve for them. The more you grieve, the more you have loved, that is an old saying. You had what many people never have and that is a wonderful marriage and loving children.
My friend has just lost her husband aged 52, her daughter is 17 so she contacted Cruse from the website and is now waiting for an appointment for counselling for her daughter. Getting through the next few weeks is just about putting one foot in front of the other, there is no easy way, you get up, but wish you could stay in bed, you do what you have to, in my case on auto-pilot, and get through the day as best you can. It is not going to be easy, there are mountains of forms and paperwork to sort through but you do it day by day, important things first, followed by non-important things.
We are all here for you, we have all been through some similar heartbreak and believe you me, this website has been a god-send, knowing you are not alone, so please keep in touch.
Please take care.