Everyone says ‘your coping well’ thats what they think , I feel like I must get on with my life as I have 2 daughters & 4 grandchildren & my 87 year old mum. One thing I have learn’t is that when I’m on my own & I feel lost & sad in way that’s ok because I have to process all the different emotions on my own terms.
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Hello @Autumnchild57,
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. It sounds as though things are very tough at the moment and you’re feeling as if you’re not coping well.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share these links with you to help you with your grief.
You might already be familiar with our other Online Bereavement Support services, but if not, you can find out more about our Online Counselling service, our Grief Coach text support service, and our Grief Guide self-help tools by visiting the link.
Take care - keep reaching out,
Alex
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Thank you , this site has been really helpful, even just writing down how I feel.
Hello @Autumnchild57
I know exactly how you feel if that’s any help.
I lost my husband of 45 years very suddenly on 25th February and it hurts like hell.
Just as you say, I try to keep going for my two grownup children and my four grandchildren, along with my 87 year old disabled dad and 84 year old sick mum.
Supporting all of these people, trying not to upset anyone anymore than necessary is so exhausting. By the time it gets to 5pm my stomach is in knots and I feel so sick and emotional. I just wait until I’m on my own and then I break down.
They all tell me I’m doing so well, I’m really not.
God bless you and everyone else on this heartbreaking journey x
Love and hugs
Gail xx
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I’ve gotten really good at hiding how I really feel. I’m not sure why but somehow it seems like I have to project progress to those around me. I don’t want others feeling sad over my sadness. And so I put on my happy face when I’m in public and just face the reality of my new life when I’m alone. Maybe not the best way to do things, but somehow it works for me.
I think we tend to judge ourselves and how we process our grief and at times we can make ourselves feel like we’re not healing fast enough because of the way we deal with our loss. And yet we have to find our own way because there’s just no road map to our individual internal struggle. My hope is that with time, we all find our purpose or happiness again.
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So sorry for your loss also. This journey is hard for all of us, it doesn’t take the pain away but sharing it helps a little, even just writing down how we are feeling & others reaching out. Take care.
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My sister told me I expect too much of myself for the sake of people around me. And it will take as long as it takes.
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