Trying to cope

Ive tried all sorts of therapy and counselling im under a team now.
Our son passed away 16 yrs ago but it feels like days ago he was only 7 months.
I did find Cruise counselling helpful but i still cry for him every day its amazing how some people think it’s just a matter of getting over it i know they mean well but the words don’t help.

Hi Camsbloke,
I too have had counselling, at first it helped to talk but in the end I didn’t know what to say.
Everyone, counsellors included, expect you to "come to terms " “move on” “accept it”
"build a new life " Most of the time I can’t even believe it’s happened.
Nobody seems to have any idea of the depth or the impact of the sadness and the loss I ( I and I guess you) feel for our loved ones, your son and my husband.
I can’t imagine ever being happy again.
I wish I could say more to help you, Sadme

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I agree with you so much im sorry for your loss as well. Unfortunately ive got family that don’t believe in depression so thats a battle i cant win.
My wife is very supportive she is amazing she seems to carry on for the sake of our other children i just can’t i blame myself all the time.
I struggle with suicidal thoughts but as people tell me i have to think of my family so i try to be as strong as i can for my kids

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Hey Cambsbloke
My own experience of bereavement doesn’t qualify me to give you advice, or even to say I understand your loss, so I won’t add insult to the injury you have struggled with all these years. You may have come across a term “Complicated Grief” in some of your sessions? If not, look it up or talk to a professional about it. You could start with your own GP. Also, don’t discount the very real possibility that you are clinically depressed (this is nothing to do with willingness to move on, being weak or families not believing in it ; it is to do with real chemicals in your brain being off kilter). If you are depressed, and are suffering from the long-term affects of grief I urge you to persist with any avenues that might shed a glimmer of insight into your situation, and perhaps in some way, one day, let you feel a fresh breath in your mind. You’ve been drowning for a long time, now.
Crikey, there’s me saying I can’t give advice and there I go wanting to suggest a few things … yet I believe you are allowed to live a life which will subsume all the parts that are painful into all the parts that are good. I can’t promise it will be great, but I promise I’ll be thinking of you, just like now.

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Thanks for you kind words, im actually under a team for my depression and other issues it is a term ive heard before i just take one day at a time for now.

It’s good to hear your under a team’s care. Yep, one day at a time is often the best way. Here’s to you!

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