hello. I lost my mum in may this year and it’s been difficult navigating through things without her. I’m only 20 and would go to her for advice about everything, so I thought I’d try here to get some opinions since I’m so lost on what to do about this.
Recently, or maybe not since it’s been going on for a while, I’ve found myself in a situation with a ‘friend’. I met her online since we have mutual interests and at first it was fun talking to her. I’m quite a laid back person and I’m not super into social media/texting, so after a while when she started to text multiple times a day I got overwhelmed. Every time I text back she’d be there immediately. I couldn’t keep up with everything she was saying and felt bad if I didn’t respond because she did so quickly. My instincts were to be more distant and hope she got the message that all the texts were too much but she still did the same thing. So I expressed that it’s a bit overwhelming and she took it badly and thought that I found her really annoying. I really didn’t want to hurt her feelings so I reassured her.
We stopped talking for months and now recently she’s come back, asking me why I haven’t stayed in contact. I know it sounds bad, but I really don’t have a connection with her as a friend and would prefer not speaking to her because of this repetitive behaviour and torrents of messages. When I ignore them, she tells me she cries and that she really wants to stay in contact with me. I’m so busy after mums death and need to prioritise university but even after I said this she said that she has a lot going on too.
Now she has found me on another social media platform and is messaging me on there. I really don’t know how to get her to stop as I’ve tried different ways and don’t want to hurt her feelings since she seem really sensitive and to be honest, even if I was blunt I feel like she’d come back since I tried to be frank before and she got offended but still came back. She’s not a bad person, her messages are always innocent but they’re just a lot. I think she’s a bit younger than me so I feel even more mean when I express that I don’t want to be friends. I’m sorry for the long rant, I just needed to get this out and try to make sense of it without mum to talk to. If anyone could help or tell me what they would do I would appreciate it so much.