I am 48 and lost my mum this year and it feels like no one understands how I am feeling, I have lived my whole life with her and stayed and got married after Dad passed away, my marriage ended and I had one child and then a failed relationship and another child , it has always been mum and I. I have siblings who have lost their mum too but we were so close and she did everything with me and my children. I nursed her for nearly 18 months whilst she was poorly and having treatment with only some help from one sibling even though I’ve got health problems myself.
I am trying my hardest to carry on , but I hate the emptiness of the house during the daytime now here on my own, she also used to do so much to help me in the house when I’m poorly and unable to do it. I have now been diagnosed with a brain tumour which I’ve got to have removed and I am so scared about it all, I just feel so alone. My siblings have partners to lean on and I feel like I’ve got no one to talk too about how I’m feeling.
Hi @Justme6,
I’m sorry to hear how much you are struggling, & the news of your brain tumors must be terrifying, sending hugs of support. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate, it’s understandable to find it all overwhelming. Loosing a parent, especially one you were so close to is heartbreaking, our parents are there for so much of our lives, & a big shock when they pass. I know when my mom passed, I was very much on autopilot for the first year, somewhere in my head it was as if she was just out somewhere, or away visiting family, & I was expecting her to walk through the door, or a phonecall that would never come, 
. It’s now 2 & 1/2 years since mom passed, I still miss her, but I think I except that she’s gone, though maybe here in spirit. Just take it one day at a time, & feel free to talk as much or as little on this forum as is comfortable, I’ve found there’s always someone here who you can talk to.
As for the brain tumor, 
… You may be able to get extra support, or any advice you might need from Macmillan, or Dorothy House, also, it might help to ask your doctor or one of the aforementioned about support groups in your area. I hope this helps.
Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply to me.
I keep thinking she’s only gone out or I wake up in the morning and for a split second I forget and go to check in on her.
I just feel so lost without her,my two children are struggling too , the one at primary school is having someone to talk too at school which is good for her, as Mum was like the other parent to them both, so we are all struggling here, my eldest has had some talking therapy to help him.
I am so scared being a single parent and awaiting the surgery and outcome of this brain tumour too.
I have to somehow pull myself together and try and sort Christmas out, really feel like not bothering but can’t because of my youngest.
It was horrible last year with Mum sat around the table with us and her trying to eat and knowing it would be her last 
Not sure what I am trying to get from writing this but it does help to get it off of my chest x
Hi @Justme6 ,
I’m glad talking on here helps. Christmas is a dreaded time for a lot of people suffering bereavement, your not alone there, the first year after my mom passed, we didn’t bother with Christmas, we sent cards, & gave eachother simple presents, but didn’t bother with the hype of putting up decorations, or things like that. I understand wanting to make it special for your youngest, but look after yourself to, may I suggest talking to your kids, & maybe find a compromise this year, a sort of middle ground where you still do something special for your youngest, but calm down the whole Christmas thing as a whole, for example a Christmas walk, or going to see Christmas lights, but maybe put up a tree, but don’t need to do the whole house with streamers, just the tree, don’t pressure yourself to do the whole Christmas thing if you feel it would be less pressure to simplify it a bit.
My mom had a brain tumor, & though I’m no expert in these things I’ve seen how it can go, so I know how important it is to have Support at a time like this, I want you to know you are not alone, you can talk on this forum whenever you need. You mentioned you have siblings, are they able to help & support you?
My daughter is still believing and has the elves that stay and do things for the 24 days which I find hard at the best of times, I have other health problems too as well as the tumour, have been fobbed off with being told I had vertigo and stress for 2 yrs before they’ve found the tumour.
I have a sister who I am very close too and she helps me when I’m feeling poorly and phones me daily but she has her own family too.There is a family rift with my siblings whilst mum was poorly and they now don’t speak to each other which doesn’t help.
Hi,
I know what you mean about being fobbed off by doctors, I’ve been having issues with dizzy spells, tire easily & seeing funny lights behind me for years, the doctor has been trying to tell me for years that it’s just migraine, but yet other people have said it can’t possibly be migraine, 
doctors, I despair of them.
I’m glad your daughter is still an age to believe in things, I suppose deep down, we all need to believe in something, & need something to focus on & look forward to, no-matter how hard that may feel sometimes.
I’m glad to hear your sister is able to offer some support, no-matter how limited it might be.
Sending hugs of support.
I suffer with terrible migraines too as well as fibromyalgia.
I’ve got another mri in December and got to hope tumour hasn’t grown so neurosurgeon can get it out from up my nose rather than cutting me ear to ear , it’s all such a worry. All of this on top of trying to cope without my Mum x
Hi,
It all sounds absolutely terrifying, I can understand why your so stressed by it all. Just take it one day at a time, that’s all you can do.
Hi @Justme6
So sorry to hear everything you’re going through 
just wanted to send you some hugs, love and healing xx