Trying to live a life without my son

It’s been just over 2 months since we lost our beautiful 14 month baby boy Reggie to a type of Meningitis. The first few weeks from his passing my partner and I moved about a lot because it was too painful to be at home, with the funeral preparations and various coroner reports and meetings we where busy in a horrible kind of way.

Now we are both trying to get back to work and do life without Reggie…everyday I wake up with a broken heart knowing he’s not here or I don’t have to go to his room and get him out of his cott. I’ve heard and continue to hear “that time will make it easier” but I’m not sure this feeling will ever go, it maybe a case of trying to live with it. I’m finding it increasingly more difficult to except that I’ll have to live my whole life (I’m 34 years old) without Reggie in it, I feel like my hopes and dreams for him and I have been taken away and what’s in front of me will never be as bright with him not in it. Loosing a child is so unnatural and cruel.

I’ll carry on because I have to, for my partner and my friends and family.

I fully understand how you are feeling as that is how I am feeling . I do believe it will be our family and good friends who will help us through this. I wake up every morning disappointed that I actually wake up but then I try and focus on something to do. I am a matron in the NHS and I do not think I can face returning to work so I think you are doing fantastically to be doing that. I hope that you soon find some peace xxxx c

I’m so very sorry for your loss, you’re in a heartbreaking situation which I know well.

It’s going to take a long, long time before life will even begin to feel anything like normal again. Both you and your partner need to draw strength from each other and please, don’t be afraid to talk about and remember Reggie it will give you comfort. Make a memory box for all his precious little things and talk about him whilst you put items in it, cry if you want to. I think after you have done this it will feel like a stone has been lifted from your heart and you will feel lighter in yourself.

Reggie will never be forgotten but maybe in time he can be remembered with happiness instead of sadness.

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Thank you for words it means a lot to get a reply.

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