Trying to support my boyfriend through grief

General chat
1

My partner recently lost his farther in a traffic accident 3 months ago. He is not dealing with it very well which is understandable, this has led to him being cold and shutting me out. Although this is hurting my feelings I am trying not to take it personally and support him where he will let me.
What is troubling me though is he has stopped being affectionate or interested in me at all unless he wants to be intimate. I am trying my hardest to accept this but it is making me feel like an object and I want to burst into tears every time he touches me now as I know that is all he wants.
Is this normal? He was very affectionate before this happened.

2

Hello @Girl2,

Thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry for your partner’s loss.

When it comes to something as tough as grief, it can be hard to know what to say or do that might help someone you love. Our Grief Kind campaign has lots of resources that can help. You can:

  • Watch our Grief Kind classes. Our Grief Kind classes are five short video tutorials in which Sue Ryder bereavement experts talk you through what grief is like and how you can support others who are grieving
  • Listen to our Grief Kind podcasts. Our Grief Kind podcasts are hosted by author, journalist and Sue Ryder ambassador, Clover Stroud. She speaks with celebrities about their personal experiences of bereavement and the support which helped them most when coping with their grief.
  • Read our guide on supporting someone else who has been bereaved.

I hope that you find these resources helpful. Please take good care of yourself, too - the community is here for you.

Alex

3

Its definitely normal, im so sorry for you both, im grieving my mama and really have detached from everyone mentally and physically, maybe give it more time and tell him your feelings in a calm way, you dont deserve to be shut out, i understand it from both ways :frowning: but you’re a person and it isnt fair on you either x

4

there are posts on here about the EXACT SAME THING.
exactly women in this same boat. my only advice was to
ease back. maybe men on here can better advise.
let him know you care but you cannot force a horse to drink. we go deeper into an emotional hothouse making it worse so best to step back and allow them their room.