Two parents, Two years

So I posted a week or so ago about my dad being in bad health. Sadly he passed away on Sunday.
I lost my mum last May. She was my best friend and my world.
It feels like Iv lost her aswell all over again.
This time round there’s been so much to do and so far Iv been very busy and not actually had time to process.
I have my husband, and two close brothers but I have a real feeling of feeling alone in the world.

Hi there im so sorry for your loss I cant imagine what you are going through hourly being your parents I’ve never had that just lost my soulmate of seventeen years on October the 24th I know what you mean feeling alone it’s the anguish despair looking for that one last conversation kiss hug hold if the hand take care of yourself as much as possible your in my thoughts x

Hi Joanna,

Just want to reach out to you. I lost my precious dad in May 17 then my wonderful mum May 18. It’s really, really tough. Xx

I am an only child so didn’t have the support of siblings so I hope your brothers are helping a little? I feel so alone with my childhood memories as I have nobody to ask about things any more.

I don’t know about you but I didn’t feel old enough to not have the support of my parents. I suddenly felt like I had no choice but to be an “adult”. I am facing the aniversaries of my mum and dad’s death this month and I find the special dates hard to deal with.

It is very early days for you and I hope it is of some comfort but a year down the line, I still feel a strong connection to my mum and dad. They are not here but I still love them dearly and nothing can change that. I know what they would say to me in different situations and I try to do things that would still make them proud so the bond lives on.

I hope you are taking one day at a time at the moment and being kind to yourself?

Here for a chat if you think it will help.

Ann xxx

Hi Ann,

Thankyou so much for your reply. I’m so sorry to hear about your parents too.
Yes I do feel very lucky I have the support from my brothers.
I didn’t really deal with my mums death, it was a completely life changing time as we ran a business together too so my world turned up side down. Now I feel like Iv just lost her too. It’s like all the feeling from then have hit me too.
I feel the same, I don’t feel old enough to not have them around. My dad saw me get married in February which I am so grateful for but I almost feel grief for everything they won’t see in my life. The things I knew they were looking so forward too.
I just feel abit numb at the moment, I don’t feel like I’m quite ready to deal with and really accept this has happened. I’m trying to keep myself as busy as possible xxx

Hi Joanna

Oh gosh. Running a business with your mum must have turned everything upside down. No wonder you haven’t had time to process it all.

I was the same for different reasons. My mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer a few weeks after my dad died so I was completely preoccupied with caring for her instead of thinking about my dad. I was hit with a sort of guilt that I hadn’t even had time to grieve my dad so I understand that it all hits you again after your second parent dies.

I am glad you have support from your brothers. I’ve turned to my mum’s friends for support and they have been wonderful so get help from as many people as you can.

I have been busy too since my mum died but I’ve also taken time to try to feel my emotions as I’m convinced they have to come out one way or another. The simple things have helped like having a bath every night and talking on here has helped me feel less alone too.

Did you manage to keep your business going?

Ann xx

It’s nice just being able to speak to people who knew then isn’t it. Keeping memories going. Just almost feels like it’s a end to a whole chapter in my life. When it isn’t really because like youv said they are in everything we do.
I didn’t keep the business going, it was a very hard decision but I felt like I just couldn’t do it, we were a team and I didn’t feel like it would work without her.
I spent a lot of time alone after mum, after I made the decision about the business, after dealing with that I had to find a job. The days were so long by myself. I did feel like I really struggled. There was no normality in my life. It was a really lonely place I hope I never have to go back to.
This time Iv got a work place to go back to and I’m hoping just a sense of routine and normality will help me cope better.

Yes I find my evening bath is my time to sit and reflect and remember, just alone with my thoughts.

Joanna

Ho om do sorry to hear about your loss it’s heartbreaking there someone one here in the post 6 months pops you may be able to help eachother many thanks x

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