That is how I feel every day. What is the point of waking up again without purpose?
I do not know the author of the second poem.
“The true horror of existence is not the fear of death, but the fear of life. It is the fear of waking up each day to face the same struggles, the same disappointments, the same pain. It is the fear that nothing will ever change, that you are trapped in a cycle of suffering that you cannot escape. And in that fear, there is a desperation, a longing for something, anything, to break the monotony, to bring meaning to the endless repetition of days.”
— Albert Camus, The Fall
I don’t really feel like talking
I lost someone close to me
There are just some things
Your eyes cannot un see
Excuse me if I am quiet
I don’t have much to say
I haven’t been the same
Not since that painful day
The world is too loud now
My heart cannot cope
It’s broken, I’m afraid
And there is no antidote
So for now,
Home is where I’ll stay
Attending to my heart
Safe and tucked away…
I agree, thats how i feel every day since losing my beloved husband 11 weeks to cancer, we were together 22 years.he was only 50 and had our lives ahead of us, our dreams are broken i miss him everyday and lost without him, i struggle everyday and my life is empty, I just want to be with him.
I know how you feel. It will be two years on Valentine’s Day that my lovely Philmore passed away unexpectedly. I thought he had a heart attack because he went so quickly, but it was undiagnosed kidney cancer, stage 4. We were 26 years together, and he died three weeks before he could retire. Philmore was 65. Life is cruel. All dreams shattered, and I am on my own now. I am 64 and struggling every day. I am sending hugs and love to you and everyone.
I’m in a similar situation to you. My husband was 65. He took early
retirement in 2023 and was due to get state pension this year. We had lots of plans to travel. All our dreams shattered too and I’m also left financially a lot poorer because I’m only 61 so have over 5 years till I can get my state pension. Life is so cruel.
Those poems sums up how i feel still and its 2 years in April fr me .The hardest thing for me is the lonliness without him .Feels most days like im just excisting not living and thats hard .Im on my own now my family are abroad so makes it harder .Friends have their own families and life to get on with and i know i have to carry on but still so hard isnt it regards to all on this journey .
Silver fox,
There is no widow’s pension now and can no longer get any of husband’s state pension. I do get a bit of his works pension and
Bereavement allowance £100 a month for 18 months.
Hello annaessex not been on for a bit but thought I would send you a hug and a thank you for being so good when I first came on about two years ago same as you if you like Camus nausea is a good one about his mothers death but isn’t grief roughly the same whoever it was any of the same ones still posting I see tykey does hes a good positive influence did lonely ever come back on much love to you anyway.
It is so difficult after a LO dies. It can feel so pointless. But things for the most part do get more manageable and a different sense of purpose develops. Life can never be the same but please have faith you will find some kind of meaning in time. Sending love x x
Poppet1973
I hope you can find yourself again, when the grief fog clears,your husband i’m sure is going to get you through it.
Take care my thoughts are with you.
We all understand the true horrors of loss, grief and sadness and most will never recover we don’t want to I expect,
I don’t
But eventually over time we may recover enough to enjoy what is left.
I hope I do have some future, and worth in my life but for now that’s not the case, as it’s only been 8 months since I lost my wife and it’s far too early. I will wait for some sign to say it’s ok to move on don’t know what that will be, but moving on will only be being able to enjoy myself in some way. it will not involve another partner that is simple she was the love of my life and will remain as such
Hi
Yes loads people think do not wish for anyone else. I think same at the moment.
As for signs I never saw any of those in last two years.
Unless look at myself via my diary I write stuff down in. Then I see signs not crying so such. If i think what was half decent kinda see glints through.
If I add those together they form a nuggett of enjoyment.
Then I see through the bereavement fog as I call it.
Like at the moment i listen to the bird’s dawn chorus. That us kinda a nature sign.
We don’t move on as such. I think we move in a different direction. Grief is not about letting go of our LO but rather finding a way to navigate the new normal. X
Worth checking it out.
