Yeh Lizzy I was going to say George Square xx
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I now live almost centre of town and my cat is has become an indoor cat she will go out the window to eat the grass if she has an upset tummy but thats it then waits for me to go let her back in when she was younger she would jump back up to the window sill but its too high for her now at 17yrs old xxx
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Good innings for a cat. Xxxx
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Barbara, that’s so difficult isn’t it. I presume you don’t want them at your house, and your son doesn’t want them at his house on a long term basis? Did Chris have any wishes with regards to the ashes? Is there a reason your son wants the ashes dealing with now? Maybe he or his partner if he has one are finding it difficult having them there?
My sister held on to half of our mum’s ashes from 2004 to 2014. She couldn’t cope with dealing with them without me or my brother being there too. We went with her to scatter them in a wood our mum loved, whilst on our silver wedding trip to Australia. The other half was taken to the Yorkshire moors. So I do understand how difficult it is to deal with this - especially in such a short period. Of course your son may see 6 months as a long time? I think it’s more difficult for you than it was for us due to the closeness between you and Chris.
Could you talk with your son and explain your feelings? Would he perhaps hold on to them for longer, knowing how you feel? Would the funeral director look after them for a reasonable time period?
I don’t personally have your conundrum, as Mary and both her parents are buried, in the same plot. The only cremation in our family was my daughter in 1979, and we left it to the hospital to arrange for the ashes to be scattered in a rose garden in the nearby cemetery. I’ve only ever been there once. I really don’t know how I’d have felt with having to even collect the ashes, let alone have them at home or scatter them personally, and I’m crying at the thought of that, and that I’ve only been to the cemetery once.
I have so much sympathy with your position here Barbara. I don’t have an answer either other than my comments above.
Much love and hugs. Nigel xxxx
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Ah, I wasn’t actually under the floor Georgi - just under the sink and toilet units. Under the floor would be a problem as it’s concrete. 
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No idea what to have for dinner x
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Barbarap,
I totally took the cowards way out on the ashes. I couldn’t bear to think of him in an urn, I wanted to remember him as a person, he was so cosy and healthy looking lying in our bed waiting on the undertakers. That’s the way I wanted to remember him so I arranged with the funeral parlour for the crematorium to scatter his ashes in the fields surrounded by hills, he was an outdoor person and loved his country surroundings. They told exactly where they would be scattered. When I pass it makes me sad but I know that was the right thing to do for me and I know that’s what he would have wanted. . I have my memories, it would have been too traumatic for me at that time to take the ashes. I keep getting invitations to a service at the crematorium and I can’t even go to that. I know a lot of you won’t agree with the way I dealt with it but it was my way of coping. You have to do what’s right for you, don’t be pressurised into anything. Could you ask your son to scatter them for you? I know how you are feeling and you are braver than me to actually take them. I’m so glad I don’t that I didn’t have to deal with the ashes, I have no regrets even now.
Sending hugs 
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Barbarap one thing we have learnt on this forum is that we are all different. I have my husbands ashes here atm but I feel no connection with them. They are not him. His clothes are not him. I find no comfort from them. I do not want to keep them. We often discuss places where we would like our ashes scattered. I have arranged a trip for all the family to the Yorkshire moors, where his family are from, and where we have very fond memories. I will scatter them at the top of a hill looking down at the valley. A spot we sat often. I will feel happy thinking of him there. It helped that we discussed possibilities even though we did not know he would die so young.
You have 3 choices really, scatter them, keep them or inter them. See if you can discount one of the options at least. You need to think it through. Discuss it with your family. You may not want to think about it but it’s the only way you will be happy with your decision. Once I had settled on what I wanted to do I knew I made the right decision. What would you like done with yours. That may affect your decision. Hopefully your son will give you some time to think it through, or you could put them in your house. If painful to look at put them in a cupboard. Make sure your final decision is something that you are 100% happy with. You have faced and overcome so much you will get there with this decision too.
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Yes Nigel it was COPD and a chest infection that took my mum at 78, that was in 2016 she always seemed to have a chest infection every month, I so miss her xxx
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Thank you all for your advice i had planned to scatter them at a favourite walk we did with our dogs but i just can’t face it yet as i know i will get terribly upset. I will tell my son i’m just not ready to do it yet xx
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Lizzy its a very personal thing so each person has to make the best decision for them and you are happy with your choice as Barbarap will be happy with hers too once she has made the choice xxx
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Georgi, I think I’m definitely going to move into a flat, I think I’d feel more secure. It’s so quiet where I live just now, the house next door to me is still empty since the couple moved out. No sign of anyone moving in yet. The young couple at the other side of me are either working or out a lot so I don’t see much of them although I did catch him yesterday and told him I’m going away for a week and told him the house will be up for sale soon.
Glad you got your delivery. I ordered my lamp from Next for it to be sent to the store near my daughter. I was supposed to be sent a code and I didn’t get one. I tried to speak to the chat line, honestly hopeless. I asked my question and I got a reply : I don’t understand can you write it in one sentence. I cut it down and it came back again saying I don’t understand, five times this happened, I was ready to scream, I tried to call them and there was a 30 minute wait. My lamp is at the store , I don’t have a code so I’ve no idea how I’m going to get it apart from going with my daughter tomorrow and going crazy in the store. Joy of joys and online shopping. I should have paid the £5 delivery.
Having a quiet night watching tv for a change lol. Is it bedtime yet?
XxxxX
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And Lizzy there was nothing cowardly about your choice xxx
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I didn’t think I would associate the ashes with the person. Since bringing Richard home, I have found real comfort in having him with me. It isn’t the time to make any decisions. I may never make that decision. Do what you feel is right x
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that would indeed be impossible, I need to take more care when reading posts xxx
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So annoying nowadays most companies you can’t speak to a human being and you really need to sometimes 
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Georgi, it certainly is, my friend who lives in Essex took her mums ashes to St Andrews, they had a bench put in overlooking the sea, it was so busy that day, she couldn’t see which one it was as they were going to put the ashes round the bench, she had to keep asking people if they could read the plaque, when she found it, well you know how windy St Andrews is at the top of a hill, yes you guessed right, they were covered in ash. She does laugh about it to this day. It was a memorable afternoon.
Xxx
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Georgi, I’ve found that if you say ‘I want to speak to a human’ that often gets the system to refer you to a real person!
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So how are we all doing tonight i am lost a little tonight
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Dave most of my cats have reached 18 & 19 we must do something right, they were all spoiled I have to say xxx
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