Its not so much the babysitting that gets me its the getting up so early, just not used to that ungodly hour, thankfully its normally just one day a wk xxx
I was same needed for both and wore varifocals until I got laser surgery in 2010, it was so amazing to wake in the morning and see my phone without first putting on my glasses, the reading wore off after a few yrs and I just bought off the shelf specs and judged it myself what strength I needed and when I did eventually go to have my eyes checked he said his prescription was same as I was purchasing and that hasn’t changed I went for a check up recently and the strength still hasn’t changed but this time he diagnosed cataracts in both eyes but they are tiny right now so no referral yet, and up here its a few yrs wait to get the op, my neighbour has waited so long and has agreed to go Inverness to have hers done which is happening tomorrow as it happens xxx
Thats just life Nigel sometimes there is no reason for it xxx
Nigel, that was Mary saying “you can’t finish that puzzle without me! See?”
That was lovely Lizzy, a special end to your holiday, safe travels tomorrow be good to have you back xxx
Dave and Nigel, you make me wonder if my husband would have missed me so desperately and been so sad and tearful. Honestly, I hope not. The thought of him being so sad makes me want to cry. I would want him to find happiness again and soon. I wouldn’t want him to cry in pain over my loss. It hurts too much and I would never want to be the cause of his pain. Love him too much for that.
Just a perspective from one woman who loves her husband.
Hugs.
Georgi, I would have to decline anything at that hour of the day except an ambulance, fire truck, or law enforcement. Early mornings make me nauseous. I don’t know how you do it.
Lizzy, throughout my entire life every time a door closed, a new one opened and something even better was waiting on the other side; even the doors I didn’t want closed. Everything is working in your favor and I am convinced that the perfect buyer will come quickly and just as your new home comes up on the radar and for the perfect price.
Do you have an real estate agent in the town to which you will move? You need someone who knows about the places before they hit the market or the advertisements. Maybe one of your friends there has one to recommend.
Our loved ones surround us all the time. When you tune into the signs, you will see them, feel them, hear them. The cool breeze in a warm room, the scent of a flower that is nowhere near, a lost item that appears, a coin on the sidewalk when you feel blue.
Auntie Recliner. Yes. She got to visit her baby sister (89 years of age) as did I. Not much visiting, but a couple of kisses and "I love you"s. And, the jewelry armoire is in her apartment at the senior community.
Did I tell you all that she had 2 recliners in her home? Yes. She forgot that the flowered chair reclines. Over the phone, I told her it did, but she insisted it did not. It does. She’s been fighting a broken chair for months with a perfectly good one 10 feet away.
Sent brother home with 2 hurricane lamps. These are tall, glass oil lamps with glass flues that we used when the power went out due to storms when I was a kid. Sister-in-Love said she wanted them, so here you go.
I let go of the custom made (by my Aunt - oldest of the girls) king bedspread and skirting that was on my parents’ bed for years. The skirting is lined and the pleats have boning so they always stay straight. You can’t buy this quality anymore. It is a lost art - drapery and bedding making. Also let go of the old ice bucket since I can’t recall where it came from. Gave away a fur hunting hat to one of my husband’s life-long friends.
Came home with a bucket of chocolate bars that Auntie saved for me.
Exhausted.
Going out to visit the bees, feed the crows, and fill the bird bath and water trays.
Love
They do say adults can have it quite bad or shingles. She is incredibly fit and eats a fantastic diet. She recovers very quickly. I think having a child and attending toddler groups has been quite a shock to her immune system. When I fostered primary age children I couldn’t believe how many bugs they brought home to share with me x
Going to bed now goodnight all lets hope we have a good nites sleep xxx
Peaches neither do, I have never been a morning person,I was a night duty person but here I am still awake after midnight xxx
Yip they catch everything going !
That brought tears to my eyes Lizzy. Have a good and safe journey home today. 
I’m sure Mary would be devastated to think she was the cause of so much pain. I’d be the same if the position was reversed. She isn’t the cause. It’s my love for her that is the cause.
Men and women are really no different in grief. We all bleed when pricked with a needle!
Peaches, I honestly don’t think my husband would have coped if I had died first, he had mental health problems before I met him, everyone kept telling me I changed his life around when we met for the better, he just loved me so much, we did everything together, he was so attentive and loving. I dread to think of him plunged into a depressive state again.
Life is so cruel at times, we have all lost someone so precious , it shows in our posts how we loved them so much, this is why we are hurting so much with this grieving. process.
I have felt signs that my husband is with me here in Turkey a lot more than back home. We nearly moved here but me getting cancer stopped that from happening .
Now I’m dreading how much I have to do this morning, I hope my case has magic sides. Dreading all the mail that I’ve seen the postman putting through my letterbox.
I have Registered with local Estate Agents back home to alert me when property comes on the market. I have one all ready and waiting for me to get home to get the home report done, we can’t sell till this is done, they also tell people what the house is worth. Everything is done online now, you can look at property before viewing it in person which is great now.
It’s going to be difficult as I know where I want to live and they don’t come up very often, everyday I look. When another one does come up I will need to be quick and offer a lot more than it’s worth to get it. It will be a miracle if I can get one.
I also have a file opened with a lawyer to do the sale of the property.
It will be all systems go when I get home xxxx
Peaches - you have done exactly as I thought you would! Your caring for others came through yet again and you’ve brought a little joy to several people with your help to Auntie recliner!
When my first wife left me, and I never knew why - bored and wanting some excitement maybe - I was in a dreadful state, and crying in a similar way to now. I couldn’t see a way forward until that door closed and the next door opened. So I think that analogy applies to the current loss too. The problem is that it doesn’t feel possible to be truly happy again at the moment and unless that feeling changes I doubt the tears will stop. I can’t see (and don’t want) the door closing, so I don’t know what has to happen for that to change and to be happy again long term!
Answers on a postcard! 
Georgi, yes I’m lucky with that - obviously yesterday wasn’t so much of an issue for them as for me - they were all still laughing and joking with each other on WhatsApp - but they were all supportive and in touch one way or another. I can’t quite believe it will be 5 months tomorrow.
Good morning everyone. Sun is shining here today. I will walk into town to get my eyes tested. One of my biggest fears was to lose my sight. I had such poor sight which was declining. I could only just read the 3rd line down with glasses and that is the cut off point for driving. I had a cataract operation even though they were mild in the hope it would give me some improvement and it was a miracle. I could read the bottom line without any glasses. The consultant was so surprised. They had no idea what the problem was but it was sorted. Because of the severe myopia I am high risk for eye problems. Sight impacts everything. My MIL lost most of the sight in one eye due to glaucoma and then had a mini stroke that took the central sight in the other. My nightmare.
My night out last night was good. They didn’t upset me this time. I even talked about things without tears. A big step forward.
Peaches, will Aunty give you some peace now, or will she move onto the next thing?
Lizzy safe travels home. I’m glad you have your family with you. It not only got you through a difficult time but you got to enjoy time together. Altogether a good outcome to a bad situation. Now lots to keep you busy as you look for your new home.
Nigel, well done on yesterday. I think your French abode does you good. Hopefully it will give you some strength to move things along when you get back. I think us not wanting that door to close is the problem.
Georgi I hope you got your sleep. I got 6.5 hours which is about normal for me now. Again with numerous awakenings.
Dave sun is shining here. If it is where you are get yourself out in it. It does your mood good.
Xx
Good morning Debsie. I’m so glad your night out was good, especially without tears. Yes - I got through yesterday! It think it was definitely better being here than at home. I didn’t want a stream of visitors, which is what might have happened at home. Some sun would be nice though - another grey, misty day until 4.00pm. Sadly not unusual at this time of the year.
Good luck with your eye test.
I do think the tears I cry are getting less, I still seem to shed a few each day. Today before I even got out of bed. The played total eclipse of the heart. These lyrics did it.
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I’m only falling apart
There’s nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there’s only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
Sorry about that. xx
Good morning every one it’s freezing here today very cold wind Nigel and Dave i hope you have a better day today
Lizzy safe journey home i’m sure it’s been an emotional time for you maybe in time you will feel like visiting Turkey again. I hope your house sale goes well and the perfect one comes up for you to buy.
Debsie the total eclipse of the heart pretty much sums up the way we are all feeling . I find it hard to listen to music i had play lists on my Alexa but they all remind me of Chris and usually end up crying . Hopefully that will get easier in time as i do love my music x
Debsie, that’s normally a lovely song but yes, the lyrics in that, and in so many songs, have different meanings to us all now. Even just one verse can be too poignant. Strangely, my friend who was cured of MS was a recording engineer, and one of his clients was Bonnie Tyler. So he will have been the person who did all the engineering for that song before release. I went to the studio once and at the time he was working on ‘Lost in France’. How prophetic!