Hello Phillips, thank you for posting.
I’m into my second year without my husband, he died aged fifty eight, I had no idea he was unwell and the shock of finding him was catastrophic, it changed my life instantly.
I too am angry at being alone, angry that such a beautiful kind husband and father was taken so suddenly, it didn’t and still doesn’t make sense.
Your words resonate with me, but also give hope that things can ease, I hope that one day the awful feeling in the pit of my stomach will leave, and that I may once again look at the world with a more optimistic outlook.
Hi I’m 3 months in this awful place, my anxiety is really bad at the moment. I have to force myself to go out if I can at times, I don’t want to get to that point of not going, that happened to me in my 20s after a difficult time I had. I’m seeing my GP tomorrow to discuss these feelings of anxiety again to see how I can cope with them. I need to get back to work, to get out of the house, I don’t drive so work is the only distraction I can get at the moment. I’m aiming to do that, however hard it might be. Take good care of yourself. X
Bless you, you could be describing my own loss and have my sympathies. I don’t believe this feeling ever leaves us, we just learn somehow to cope. My only consolation is that my darling man suffers no more, he clung on to life not wanting to leave me, but with terrible suffering, so now he’s at peace thankfully.
Today it’s 2 months since my husband of 35 years died. I’ve been crying on and off all day. If someone here knows how to make this pain to stop that would be wonderful. But of course, all I keep getting told is “oh it’s too soon, you have to give it time”. I guess that is what the future holds now? To miss the love of my life for the rest of my days crying my eyes out and wishing days go by fast…. Wishing everyone a good evening
Anita at 2 months the way you feel is normal. It will get better. You will cry less. The panic, anxiety and brain fog will improve. I am pretty sure I will miss my love for the rest of my life. In the meantime I make the most of my days and try and find some joy in my life. You will cope and adjust. You have to learn a new life, a new you. It does take time to do that. Some days you will feel you have improved only for it all to come crashing back in. In the meantime be kind to yourself. Do what you need to do for now and later you will start to find things you want to do again. Xx
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re having such a bad day, I’m 3 months in to losing my partner, due to sudden cardiac arrest. I’ve been crying on and off today too, I don’t have an answer unfortunately. Have you got family or friends nearby who can be with you if and when you need them. I’ve been reaching out to friends at times, it doesn’t take it all away, but helps sometimes. This terrible rollercoaster we are now on is heartbreaking, the people on here are very supportive though, I find it some comfort and do try some of the strategies people offer in help. I’m thinking of you am so sorry. Sending hugs x
Yes, my sister is stayng with me for a few days and I’ve been doing better than say a month ago. It still sucks and the pain is too much! I do love the group here, it makes me feel am not a total weirdo. Thanks for your kind words LJ!
Nothing any of us say will take your pain away the hole in your heart will never been filled but it will get cushioned. When that is who knows. Think about the things that make you smile and remember your happy memories will always be there they won’t go away. 35 years is a lot of happy times I bet, remember a different one every day and maybe your happy memories will overbear your sadness. Sending big hugs
I am sorry for the loss of your beautiful and funny wife. I can relate to all of your post except my husband was gone early one morning. I never expected he’d die so soon. The shock took a long time to process… all of it is very difficult.
I find writing has been helpful and lifts my spirits. Journal promt yesterday - Why am I sad? For each one, I could find a positive on a flip side. GriefShare has helped me a lot too.
Be kind to yourself. I had a gratitude jar for my husband and I. I use it now to write a gratitude especially to find a positive after a sad wave hits me.
x